By: News

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Things We Lost in the Rocket

The Antares rocket from Orbital Sciences, which was subcontracted by NASA to deliver supplies to the International Space Station, exploded moments after take-off yesterday. Fortunately no people were aboard, however a great deal of important cargo was lost, including:

  • Space ice cream that someone left in there by accident after a trip to a museum
  • The last remaining copy of the “Star Wars” where Han shoots first
  • Badly needed condoms for the ISS crew
  • Lab rats who died a much kinder death than they were supposed to
  • iPhone 6 for that one astronaut who just couldn’t wait
  • A giant explosion
  • Small commemorative model of the Challenger shuttle
  • Test chimp that clearly didn’t learn a fucking thing in flight school
  • Any future of further subcontracting of Antares rockets from manufacturer Orbital Sciences! Ya got burned, Orbital Sciences!
  • Priceless antique rocket booster
  • Tom Hanks (stowaway)

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