Things We Lost in the Rocket
The Antares rocket from Orbital Sciences, which was subcontracted by NASA to deliver supplies to the International Space Station, exploded moments after take-off yesterday. Fortunately no people were aboard, however a great deal of important cargo was lost, including:
- Space ice cream that someone left in there by accident after a trip to a museum
- The last remaining copy of the “Star Wars” where Han shoots first
- Badly needed condoms for the ISS crew
- Lab rats who died a much kinder death than they were supposed to
- iPhone 6 for that one astronaut who just couldn’t wait
- A giant explosion
- Small commemorative model of the Challenger shuttle
- Test chimp that clearly didn’t learn a fucking thing in flight school
- Any future of further subcontracting of Antares rockets from manufacturer Orbital Sciences! Ya got burned, Orbital Sciences!
- Priceless antique rocket booster
- Tom Hanks (stowaway)
