By: Zack Poitras
Michael Bay has recently confirmed he is in negotiations to direct a movie about the September 2012 Benghazi attacks. Funny Or Die got a hold of a few pages of the script, which luckily enough include some notes from Bay himself.
Intense, Fast-Paced Cheese to the Face.
You will look stupid, we promise.
McDonald’s or Burger King? Which one would you choose!?
There’s only one difference between a take and a bust, and that’s how fast you can play your mark. But don’t get restless out there, ’cause one wrong move and you’re in the clink for 6 to 9 for standing by your crew on a job you thought was raw all along. After all, loyalty is for suckers and heroes, and you’re neither. Which is why when Jared’s estranged, yet rich, sister asks him to dog-sit, it’s like hearing that old song again, but twice as loud and half as fast. Only this time the stakes are as high as the payout, ’cause for the first time, it’s the last time. One last pull to make everything right, keep the past behind you, right boys? Well you can’t always outrun the past, Jared, Nick and Tim. But sometimes, you gotta try; just to feel the wind at your back, if only for a moment. After all, life’s a choice, and every choice is a moment and every moment is chance, and every chance is a chance. Also something about dating or something maybe. I dunno, we’re having fun.
A toast to end all toasts
What if boyfriends had relationship lawyers?