We Decoded The Secret Republican Twitter Accounts

News!, Funny Or Die November 18, 2014October 1, 2021

Scandal rocked the GOP this week when CNN revealed that Republican campaigns were using secret Twitter accounts to send coded messages to conservative SuperPACs leading up to the midterm elections, in what may be a major violation of campaign finance laws. When the story broke the Twitter accounts, @TruthTrain14 and @brunogianelli44, were quickly deleted – never a great sign.

But what do the coded tweets mean? To a lay observer, these real tweets that the GOP has since deleted appear to be a random string of letters and numbers. But luckily, Funny or Die News received a top secret decoder ring in our cereal box this morning, so we have successfully decrypted all the tweets. Read on for our shocking findings.

Decoded message: In Florida ‘s 26th district, GOP internal polling data shows 44% of those polled were planning to vote Republican and 42% Democrat in the midterms.

Decoded message: in Illinois ‘ 12th district, 43% planned to vote Republican, 42% planned to vote Democrat, and 35% thought that Zayn was cuter than Niall. Haha that ‘s a little One Direction joke. Well not a joke, we really put that in our poll. 43% favor repealing Obamacare.

Decoded message: In Arizona ‘s first district, 43% plan to vote Republican, 42% Democrat. 41% rated immigration as “the most important issue to me.”

Decoded message: @zaynmalik omg follow us pleeease we ‘re such big fans!

Decoded message: @zaynmalik we guess you couldn ‘t see this because it was in code.

Decoded message: @zaynmalik we guess you still can ‘t. Bummer. We love you.

Decoded message: FINE we will get back to tweeting about the stupid election.

Decoded message: In Colorado ‘s sixth district, 41% of voters are planning to vote for the Republican whatever OMG Zayn has a COLD?!

Decoded message: #getwellzayn

Decoded message:In Idaho ‘s 14th, we ‘ve got a serious problem. Only 34% of women and minority voters are with us. Commence Operation Condor.

Decoded message: You know, Operation Condor. Where we tweet “everybody vote for 1D over Taylor Swift for the People ‘s Choice Awards!!!!” over and over.

Decoded message:Yes, the Idaho tweet was about One Direction obvs. Idaho Latinas are polling 55/45 for Swift.

Decoded message:Of course that ‘s what we spent that $800K in polling money on.

Decoded message: We ‘re SORRY Operation Condor isn ‘t a minority voter suppression initiative. We ‘re not looking at Taylor ‘s stupid award face one more time. Not after what she did to Harry. We may be shadowy political operatives but we still FEEL.

Decoded message: everybody vote for 1D over Taylor Swift for the People ‘s Choice Awards!!!!

Decoded message: everybody vote for 1D over Taylor Swift for the People ‘s Choice Awards!!!!

Decoded message: [This one is a Rob Delaney retweet]

Decoded message:

Decoded message: everybody vote for 1D over Taylor Swift for the People ‘s Choice Awards!!!!

Decoded message: Well then you SHOULDN ‘T HAVE GIVEN US A TWITTER ACCOUNT. TWITTER TAUGHT US ALL ABOUT ONE DIRECTION AND WE LOVE ONE DIRECTION NOW. WE KNOW WE ARE SHADOWY REPUBLICAN OPERATIVES BUT TBH ONE DIRECTION IS ALL WE WANT TO BE SHADOWY ABOUT.

Decoded message: Amazing how much information we can pack into these. This is a very efficient code.

Decoded message: Oh, you guys don ‘t want us to tweet about One Direction? You JUST want us to use this secret coded Twitter account to share polling data in violation of campaign finance laws? FINE.