To Be Fair, It Was A Big Baby
A Canadian couple received a bill for $1 million from a Hawaiian hospital after unexpectedly giving birth during their vacation. Meanwhile, an American who gave birth in a Canadian hospital received a gift certificate for 10 free hugs.
What The Kids Are Saying
A new ‘Starter Pack” meme is trending on Twitter today. If that sentence didn ‘t make you feel old and out of touch enough, be sure to also search ‘OR NAH” on Vine.
Why Wouldn ‘t Someone Want To Continue To Be Associated With The NFL?
NFL player Jason Brown left behind a $37 million contract in order to start a farm in North Carolina in order to donate his harvest to food pantries in the state. Sports analysts lament that it ‘s too bad we ‘ll never get to see how much more charitable he would have become with severe brain damage.
2D Glasses, Man
An experiment by the U.S. Department of Energy ‘s Fermi National is underway to determine if the universe is actually a two dimensional hologram. The experiment involves a machine that uses two hyper-sensitive lasers to determine if someone is high enough to even start thinking about this shit.
The St. Louis area has seen a surge in gun sales in anticipation for the grand jury verdict in the Michael Brown shooting case. This runs counter to analyst expectations that America ‘s gun violence problem would just go away on its own.