By: John Harris
Last week, 100-year-old Tennessee resident Ruby Holt saw the ocean for the first time in her life after being taken to the Gulf of Mexico by a philanthropic charity and staff members from her assisted living facility. Funny or Die News has this exclusive interview with the inspiring centenarian:
Funny or Die News: 100 years without ever having seen the ocean! That ‘s incredible! Was it everything you thought it would be?
Ruby Holt: It was okay.
FoDN: Just okay?! Wasn ‘t it the most humbling, awe-inspiring moment of your life?
RH: It was windy on the beach. I didn ‘t care for that.
FoDN: But have you ever seen anything so big in your entire life?
RH: I saw a pretty big truck once.
FoDN: How does that even compare to THE OCEAN?! Its utter vastness has inspired countless poems, novels, paintings ‘it is inextricably tied to a primal, visceral part of the human soul!
RH: I don ‘t know. They were both big. Big truck, big ocean. So what?
FoDN: But what about the salt air, the sunshine, the sound of the waves lapping at the shore? What about the sheer, awesome power of nature?
RH: I don ‘t notice things like that.
FoDN: Okay ‘how about the feeling of being just one infinitesimally small part of a vast, unending universe? Did you experience that at all?
RH: I am average-sized, for a senior citizen. I felt like an average-sized old woman looking at the ocean.
FoDN: It ‘s just very difficult to believe that the enormity of the ocean didn ‘t have any sort of effect on you. If that ‘s the case, what does move you?
RH: I like the costumes game show with the black man.
FoDN: You mean Let ‘s Make A Deal with Wayne Brady?
RH: I don ‘t know. I just watch whatever. It doesn ‘t matter to me.
FoDN: Yes,but ‘okay, wasn ‘t seeing the ocean your lifelong dream?
RH: I just said I never saw the ocean. I didn ‘t ask to go there.
FoDN: Umm ‘
RH: I don ‘t really care that I ‘m alive. Being alive or being dead doesn ‘t make a difference. I ‘ve always felt that way.
RH: I lied about that big truck earlier. I never saw that. I just didn ‘t have anything else to stay, so I lied.
RH: Sometimes I do that.