13 Alternative Uses For Cheap Gas

Gas is cheap. The price for a gallon at the pump is down more than $1 since May, with prices reaching a five year low. With prices this cheap, you ‘d be a fool to only be buying gas to power your non-electric car. Here are some frugal-tastic ideas to help you take advantage of these historically low petrol prices.

• Pour it into your Brita pitcher, which should turn it into drinkable water.
• Instead of coal, stuff the stockings of the naughty children in your family with pure crude.
• Grab $20 from the ATM and pick yourself up a Texaco franchise.
• Replace that rancid shit smell in your bathroom with a nice gasoline aroma.
• Use it to write secret messages that can only be revealed by setting the paper on fire.
• Swirl it in your mouth, as gasoline offers the exact same health benefits as coconut oil (zero).
• All the other little twerps will use vinegar and baking soda for their science fair volcanoes. Not your cool-ass kid.
• Send a gallon of gasoline over to a sexy lady you see at the pumps. She ‘ll get the message.
• Carry a leaky container of gasoline in your hand at all times until you finally decide to start a really long fire.
• Dab a little behind the ears and you ‘ll finally earn your father ‘s respect.
• Finally kill all those ants. Fucking ants think they can run MY house? Uh-uh.
• Want to spice up your relationship? Fill up your water bed with gasoline, light up a tiki torch for you and your partner, and then have Danger Sex.
• Now you can contribute ass, grass AND gas when hitching rides in groovy 1970s vans.