By: Ben Wietmarschen

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Brad Pitt Fills In For Angelina Jolie At Unbroken Premiere And Lies Through His Teeth

Apparently Angelina Jolie has chicken pox, or whatever the sexy adult version of chicken pox is, so she couldn ‘t go to the premiere of Unbroken, the WWII movie she directed. I ‘m sure it ‘s not easy for Brad Pitt, a movie star himself, to have to do the dirty work of his own promotional appearances and his wife ‘s. But, that ‘s what marriage is: being 2 gigantic sexy movie stars with a bunch of adopted kids, a huge entourage of friends and (probably) servants and every once in a while having to go to super expensive parties with delicious food and other huge gigantic sexy stars to drink champagne with. It ‘s a give and take.

The problem with Pitt covering for Jolie at this premiere, though, was he never saw the movie. He told his wife he ‘d gone to see Unbroken last week while she was out for the day, but he had actually gone to the store, bought some candy, and ate it on a park bench by himself instead. So, when reporters inevitably asked him questions about the movie at the premiere last night, well, let ‘s just say he wasn ‘t prepared. Here ‘s a transcript:

Reporter: Brad BRAD! Can I ask you a few questions? What did you think of your wife ‘s movie?

Brad Pitt: I, uh, thought it was ‘uuuhhhh, sweet. Yeh, that ‘s right, it was really sweet!

Reporter: Being someone who has worked on World War II films, what did you think about the way the war scenes were portrayed?

Brad Pitt: Oh, I mean, yeh ‘the war scenes were um ‘nutty.

Reporter: And how do you respond to some critics claiming the film lacked things like character subtlety or any changes in narrative pace?

Brad Pitt: Um, well, that's ‘it ‘s um ‘pretty sticky ‘

Reporter: Haha, I bet. I have a wife too.

Brad Pitt: Cool.

Reporter: And finally, what is next for Angelina Jolie the director?

Brad Pitt: Well, it ‘s tough to ‘erm ‘say, I ‘think it, uh ‘could be ‘100 Grand?

Reporter: Excellent. I have everything I need, thanks for this interview, Brad!

Brad Pitt: You ‘re welcome.

(Brad pumps fist to himself and whispers ‘yes”)

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