By: Melinda Taub

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The DMV’s New Traffic Rules For Drones

Now that Predator drones have proven their increased maneuverability, we ‘ll likely soon see them in U.S. airspace. As long as drones follow these simple rules, they ‘re good to go!

  • Right Of Way: If two or more drones are traveling toward each other, the larger drone should destroy the smaller drone with missiles.
  • Parking: A drone may not occupy street parking unless it has safely destroyed the cars occupying the spot it wants.
  • If two drones are traveling in the same patch of sky, the slower of the two should move 10 miles to the right to allow the other to pass.

  • If a drone is tired it can ride on top of a car for a while.
  • Drones may not linger outside Liam and Chris Hemsworth ‘s window, even on brother wrestling day.
  • If two or more drones collide, that is called a drone kiss.

  • Drones may not fire upon civilian aircraft carrying eight or more passengers.
  • Drone battles above elementary schools are barred. Drone battles above middle schools are encouraged.
  • Drones must not hover directly over a human ‘s head, unless the drone has fallen in love with the human.

  • Drones must flash their taillights before dropping bombs on American soil.
  • No swarming.
  • All these laws are subject to change when drones take over the world and make humans their puny dirt-slaves (estimated 2017).

Illustrations By Daniel Turner

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