By: Sam Weiner
Little Red Riding Hood
A naive young girl travels through the forest to bring food to her ailing grandmother. She is stopped by a cunning wolf. Before the wolf can trick her into revealing her grandmother ‘s location, Red Riding Hood shoots the wolf with her Glock Model 26 sub-compact, the most popular concealed-carry option for over 20 years. The End.
A downtrodden beauty uses her Fairy Godmother ‘s magic to attend Prince Charming ‘s ball but leaves her glass slipper behind. While the Prince becomes obsessed with finding Cinderella, jackbooted thugs take over the Capital. The Fairy Godmother chastises Cinderella for being unarmed and unprepared to resist federal tyranny. It could happen here. The End.
The Little Mermaid
Prince Eric spots a strange, red-haired aquatic mammal from his fishing vessel, shoots her, and proudly hangs her torso in his lodge. He later marries a normal, American woman. In 49 states, the use of rifles to hunt fish is illegal for some reason. Isn ‘t this the land of the free? The End.
Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Rapunzel
These teens stand their ground against evil witches and their lives continue uneventfully. The End.
The greatest fairy tale of all. The End ‘ if we don ‘t reorder the Constitution to put the Second Amendment in the Number 1 spot. Visit NRA.org/Make2Number1 today!