By: Jesse Neil

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Wall Street Journal Reports Apple Stores Get Discounted Rent At Malls

Creepily sterile Apple Stores often pay a lower rent at malls than non ‘Logan ‘s Run ‘looking retailers.

The Wall Street Journal reported that Apple stores get discounted rent on mall space because of the business they bring to the rest of the mall. But Apple isn ‘t the only store that benefits from altered rent. In fact, many mall retailers reap benefits or suffer penalties based on their products and clientele. Here are just a few:

Hot Topic ‘ 5% discount on rent because teenagers who shop for goth clothing get driven to the mall by parents, who then buy wine at Williams-Sonoma to cope with having goth teenagers.

Auntie Anne ‘s ‘ 8% rent discount as a result of federal subsidies meant to support America ‘s famed Pretzel Belt.

Things Remembered ‘ 4% pity discount (No mall wants to take away an aunt ‘s only avenue for engraving ‘Happy 8th Grade Graduation!” on a male bracelet that will never see the light of day)

Express for Men ‘ 5% rent discount to reward the increased Gap and J. Crew sales by men who immediately regret purchasing a European-style button-down.

Disney Store ‘ Hasn ‘t paid rent for mall space since 2002,as no mall operator is aware this store still exists.

GameStop ‘ 6% rent increase known as the ‘Hard-to-look-at-clientele penalty.”

Nathan ‘s Famous Hot Dog – 2% rent discount due to the increased sales of ipecac at nearby mall CVSs.

Spencer ‘s ‘ No discount or penalty. This is merely a reminder that we as a nation continue to let this place exist.

Hollister ‘ 25% rent increase. This is just to cover security fees needed to stop copious amounts of teenagers from fingering in dark dressing rooms.

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