10 Irish Celebrities You Had No Idea Were Irish

Mike Scollins, Funny Or Die March 11, 2015

It ‘s St. Patrick ‘s Day, so there ‘s a good chance you dirty dogs are all too drunk to read this. But whatever, here ‘s the list of 10 Celebrities You Had No Idea Were Irish.

O ‘Prah

Truth is, the Queen of All Media ‘s always been proud of her Irish heritage. But her first day on camera, some Luddite left off the apostrophe on her title card. Ever the professional, O ‘Prah rolled with the punches and just started going by her new name. Fun Trivia: O ‘prah ‘s REAL ‘Favorite Things” are whiskey and soda bread!

Sub-Zero

No one gets into this many fights without being Irish. It ‘s just that since he keeps his face covered you never get to see all those nasty freckles and fire-engine-red hair. And YES the carpet matches the drapes.

Mr. Potato Head

I mean this dude ‘s whole name is like one big Irish slur. Not to mention his wife looks exactly like him ‘ that is genuinely every Irish couple I know.

It from Stephen King ‘s It

One of the main differences between the book and the movie is that, in the book, there ‘s a huge sequence where It plays the bagpipes for everyone and they thinks he ‘s great. Just like real Irishmen, It wears a kilt with no underwear so everyone can see his clown dick. The MPAA made them cut that scene to avoid an NC-17 rating but it ‘s true.

Spuds MacKenzie

You can ‘t drink that much Bud Light and not be Irish. And, just like most Irishmen, Spuds MacKenzie died from alcohol poisoning at 27 and had, like, a dozen kids.

Police Horses

All cops are Irish, even the equine. Everyone just assumes the horses aren ‘t cause they have big dicks. But it ‘s true. Also true ‘ if a horse is a police horse, legally they have to tell you.