By: Amos Vernon
I Found The Loch Ness Monster On Google Maps!
Google has joined the hunt for the famed Loch Ness Monster! With the aid of a boat, 360 degree cameras, and a crew of divers, they recently added the mysterious Scottish Lake to Google Maps Street View. Let ‘s take it for a spin, shall we?
OK, here we are on Loch Ness. Pretty cool, huh? Let ‘s explore ‘
Wow, this place is so spooky! I just know we ‘re gonna find us a monster today. I can feel it!
Hmm, no Nessie sightings so far. Let ‘s check underwater ‘
Whoa! Did you see that? In the upper left! Wait, is that ‘?
Holy cow it ‘s the Loch Ness Monster! And he ‘s ‘ OH MY. Wow. OK. Um, geez. Just look at the thing! That ‘s gotta be like six feet long! Fuck. Should we be here? This feels wrong. Err ‘
Oh no I must have scared him off! Where ‘d he go? Nessie come back!
Damn, well, let ‘s check back on the surface. Maybe we can spot some ripples on the water ‘
Aw fuck, are you kidding me? Dude, can you strap that thing to your flipper or something? No? You ‘re just going to splash it in the water without a care in the world? Christ. You know children can use Google maps, right? A seven-year-old could be doing research for a Scottish history project and stumble upon you proudly wagging around your manhood like this. That doesn ‘t bother you at all? No? Ugh, you really are a monster. You ‘re a sick, disgusting perv monster and I hope we never find you again.