By: Amos Vernon
Dude dude dude, check it out. So, shark attacks have been occurring at an unusually high rate this year, right? And scientists have some theories as to what is going on, but they ‘re just that: THEORIES. Listen, I don ‘t wanna sound like some conspiracy-spouting lunatic, but I seriously think there ‘s something our government isn ‘t telling us mannn. I just did a little internet research and I ‘m pretty sure I ‘ve uncovered what ‘s really going on. Just check out this photo:
That ‘s right hombre: Sharks have teamed up with ISIS! Yes, that ISIS. Holy fucking shit dude. This is bad news for, like, everyone.
I mean, yes, I found this photo on the internet. And sure, I guess it could be photoshopped. But let me ask you this: WHAT IF IT ISN ‘T? This would perfectly explain why sharks are being such dicks all of a sudden! I ‘m telling you, I ‘m pretty sure it ‘s real. Just look at this other one I found:
Bro! That ‘s two fucking sharks carrying ISIS flags like it ‘s some sort of fucking parade! Right off our coast mannn! Why is no one talking about this?!
Again, this totally could be some crude photoshop by a truth-hating asshole, but I really don ‘t think it is. You gotta trust me. My hunches are almost always right and I ‘m not even that high right now. It just makes so much sense it ‘s gotta be real!
Dude, bro, dude just look at this last one!
Dude FUCK! It ‘s a fucking great white toting an ISIS flag underwater. Not only has it aligned itself with one of the most barbaric terrorist organizations in the world, it ‘s learned to hold flags under water with its pectoral fins!
If this is real we ‘re so fucked! And I totally think it ‘s real!
Dude these photos are, like, almost definitely probably real!