Who Should We Fear More, ISIS Or Al-Qaeda?
According to a recent report, the Obama administration ‘s top counterterrorism and law enforcement officials are divided over which is the bigger terror threat to America ‘ ISIS or Al-Qaeda. It ‘s true that both terror groups bring a lot to table, so we ‘ve created a handy visual aid for side-by-side comparison. Please review the below information to make your own decision about which group you should be more scared of:
| ISIS | AL-QAEDA |
|---|---|
| Group ‘s sophisticated use of social media ‘particularly in conjunction with Jihadi-themed Grumpy Cat memes ‘has proven a boon in recruiting impressionable teens from across the globe. | Legacy acts of terrorism including 9/11 afford group high level of name-recognition. |
| Similarly, ISIS is an attractive alternative for teens who would rather behead aid workers in the desert than take another one of Mr. Tomlinson ‘s AP American History pop quizzes. | Good 401(k) plan ‘attractive to serious, career-minded terrorists. |
| ISIS ‘s unpredictable, pointless, wanton acts of bloody depraved, violence appeal on some level to the Nietzschean nihilism that resides deep within all of us. Admit it ‘it ‘s true. | Have a good working knowledge of American weapons, which were given to them by America in the ’80s. |
| They reportedly have a PS4, an Addams Family pinball machine and a lot of other cool stuff in their main hideout in Syria. Teens, schmeens ‘who wouldn ‘t want to join ISIS?! | Much larger, more established network allows terrorists who are looking for change of scenery to relocate and kill people wherever they want in the world. |
| Having broken off from Al-Qaeda, ISIS is free from all the pesky rules of a more typical bloodthirsty extremist group. | Group enjoys some pretty top-notch ‘though not perfect (read: SEAL Team 6) ‘protection in Pakistan. |
| Organization is loose, so members can just do ISIS stuff on nights and weekends, if they ‘re busy ‘perfect for terrorists with outside interests. | Al-Qaeda has extensive cells throughout the U.S. and Western Europe, meaning your next door neighbor, your best friend, or even you could be a terrorist without you knowing it. |
| These motherfuckers loco, esse. | They just have a certain classy je nais sais quoi that newer, brasher terror groups simply can ‘t match. |
