By: News

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17 Reasons The Judge Ruled In Favor Of Tom Brady

A judge has overturned New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady ‘s four-game suspension, which had been imposed on Brady following the ongoing ‘deflategate” ball-inflation dispute. See below for a list of reasons why.

  • Told the judge he could probably get him Peyton Manning ‘s autograph.
  • The judge said Brady had been through enough after last month ‘s horrific courtroom sketch drawing.
  • Promised judge he could watch Tom and Gisele make out (with heavy petting) for 10 minutes.
  • He ‘s too pretty for bench.
  • A handsome boy is a handsome boy and handsome boys are forgiven.
  • Bill Belichick ‘s repeated phone calls to the judge, screaming ‘GIVE ME BACK MY SON!
  • During presenting of evidence, Brady got into opposing lawyer ‘s head by repeatedly blurting out, “I throw tight spirals” and smugly crossing his arms.
  • Brady knew what he was doing was wrong, but not ‘NFL wrong.”
  • Handed deflated football to rapper Shyne at the last second. Looks like it ‘s back to jail for ol ‘ Shyne!
  • The rousing speech by Brady ‘s old-time southern lawyer that began, ‘Now, I don ‘t know much about big city footballs ‘”
  • Brady deflated the judge ‘s gavel, making it impossible for him to call the court to order.
  • With fingers crossed behind his back, Brady told the judge that the NFL stood for No Four-Game-Suspensions League.
  • Whole court just wants to have a nice, relaxing three-day weekend.
  • Reminded judge that football is make-believe and that this whole stupid thing should never have entered the court system.
  • He ‘s a white millionaire. Honestly, what did we expect?
  • Because you basically have to murder a woman to actually get a four-game suspension in the NFL.
  • The whole thing was decided by a coin toss.

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