A judge has overturned New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady ‘s four-game suspension, which had been imposed on Brady following the ongoing ‘deflategate” ball-inflation dispute. See below for a list of reasons why.
- Told the judge he could probably get him Peyton Manning ‘s autograph.
- The judge said Brady had been through enough after last month ‘s horrific courtroom sketch drawing.
- Promised judge he could watch Tom and Gisele make out (with heavy petting) for 10 minutes.
- He ‘s too pretty for bench.
- A handsome boy is a handsome boy and handsome boys are forgiven.
- Bill Belichick ‘s repeated phone calls to the judge, screaming ‘GIVE ME BACK MY SON!
- During presenting of evidence, Brady got into opposing lawyer ‘s head by repeatedly blurting out, “I throw tight spirals” and smugly crossing his arms.
- Brady knew what he was doing was wrong, but not ‘NFL wrong.”
- Handed deflated football to rapper Shyne at the last second. Looks like it ‘s back to jail for ol ‘ Shyne!
- The rousing speech by Brady ‘s old-time southern lawyer that began, ‘Now, I don ‘t know much about big city footballs ‘”
- Brady deflated the judge ‘s gavel, making it impossible for him to call the court to order.
- With fingers crossed behind his back, Brady told the judge that the NFL stood for No Four-Game-Suspensions League.
- Whole court just wants to have a nice, relaxing three-day weekend.
- Reminded judge that football is make-believe and that this whole stupid thing should never have entered the court system.
- He ‘s a white millionaire. Honestly, what did we expect?
- Because you basically have to murder a woman to actually get a four-game suspension in the NFL.
- The whole thing was decided by a coin toss.