By: Cian Smith
So the Pope has finally left America. You ‘ve read the news, you ‘ve seen the pictures, and if you ‘re lucky you even got to see him in person. But, do you still feel like you didn ‘t get enough of the Pope? Do you still feel an empty void? You know, like the one you have when you talk to God, but he never talks back?
Worry no more! We have all of your Holy Moly Pope Memorabilia!!! ‘
Pope On A Rope – $15
You ‘re not a true catholic until you ‘ve gotten yourself a ‘Pope On A Rope.” You don ‘t want to spend too much money, but you still want to feel as though you have the Pope with you at all times. Well, this stained glass Pope decal attached to a rope can be proudly hung from any rear view mirror of a Lincoln Town car or Yellow Taxi.
DISCLAIMER: This is not to be confused with the popular ‘Pope Soap On A Rope.”Do not wash yourself with the stained glass decal.
Mitre – $20
Also known as ‘The Pope ‘s Pointy Hat,” the Mitre is a perfect gift for that person looking to not only remember the Pope ‘s visit, but wants to pretend like the Pope never left. This hat is also a perfect gift for anyone looking to add to their already existing collection of Mitre ‘s or simply just wants to pass the height requirement for Kingda Ka at Six Flags Great Adventure.
DISCLAIMER: It comes in one size: the size of the Pope ‘s head.
The Pope ‘s Luggage – $50 (per suitcase)
You ‘re not messing around here. If you ‘re looking to live like the Pope, than this is the luggage for you because it is literally the Pope ‘s luggage. It contains his robes, his shoes, and his travel size toiletry case. The robes are a one size fits all and his toiletries include: Holy Water, after shave, cologne, and mouth wash.
DISCLAIMER: All of the aforementioned toiletries are stored within similar looking glass vessels. Be sure not to bless yourself with mouth wash. It will not work.
The Pope – $1,000,000
Have the actual Pope! Don ‘t want to see him leave? Then don ‘t! How else are you going to remember seeing the Pope, than just having the actual Pope remind you of his visit?
DISCLAIMER: This is kidnapping. You will most likely go to jail. No refunds.