By: Funny Or Die

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14 Items Made By Prisoners That Will No Longer Be Sold At Whole Foods

Whole Foods has announced that they will no longer sell items made by prison inmates ‘ Betcha didn ‘t know they did that in the first place, huh?! Well, they won ‘t anymore, which means you ‘ll no longer be able to go there for delicious, prison-made items like:

  • Bottled Shiv Water
  • Organic toilet wine
  • Gluten-free salted caramel cake with file baked into it
  • Assorted Last Meal Leftovers (4.99/lb.)
  • Cage-bound eggs
  • Kale guacamole on a rope
  • Newman ‘s Own dirty needles
  • Rice-ense plates (Rice cake license plates)
  • ‘Fresh fish” (one whole, organic, frightened inmate)
  • gRAPES
  • Electric-chair-baked tortilla chips
  • Tunnel Mud Exfoliating Masks
  • Son Died Tomatoes (grown by bad men who killed their own sons)
  • Johnny Cash ‘s Folsom Prison Terra Blues Chips

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