By: News
We’re Having A Really Hard Time Writing A Funny Article About The Latest Mass Shooting

Thursday afternoon in Roseburg, Oregon, 10 people were murdered at Umpqua Community College by a gunman who open fired in a classroom on campus. Seven others were critically injured.
Obama gave a press conference Thursday evening. He was tired and sad. ‘Somehow this has become routine. The reporting is routine. My response here at this podium ends up being routine, the conversation in the aftermath of it ‘ We have become numb to this,” he said.
Right here is usually the point in the article where we ‘d propose a satirical take on the incident. Here are ones we ‘ve written so far this year.
- The U.S. Has Averaged One Mass Shooting Per Day In 2015;That ‘s More Than I ‘ve Masturbated
- Pro-Gun Fill-In-The-Blank Form For Mass Shootings
- Gun Violence Desensitization Report: Our Office Conversation Turned Away From Latest Mass Shooting In ~15 Seconds
The humor in these articles are at the expense of the regularity of the shootings, not the shootings themselves. But like the shootings, the impact of these jokes wear thin as they ‘re told over and over again. And at a certain point no one wants to hear a witty take they just want innocent people to stop being gunned down in places they once felt were safe.
You know how fucking annoying people say ‘laughter is the best medicine?” As much as it sucks to hear that, it ‘s true! Jokes and taunts are a beautiful remedy to the malign madness of say, the presidential election. We ‘d be sick if we couldn ‘t comfort ourselves by making fun of Donald Trump. But in the situation we are in in this country, where there has been at least one mass shooting per day in 2015, that dumb fucking adage ain ‘t too applicable. ‘Medicine” doesn ‘t revive people who have been murdered.
At a certain point we can ‘t respond with jokes because jokes are a way of coping. And we ‘ve reached the limit of coping. As Obama says in his speech, we ‘re experts at giving condolences and offering our prayers. While coping does not and should not imply acceptance or failure, there are people in this country who take advantage of those of us while we find ways to cope. Those people have a vested interest in the economy of guns and they have no problem profiting from an industry that easily enables murderers. A lot of those people are in our government.
So if you ‘re bummed out because innocent people being killed over and over again is a huge bummer, and are wondering what to do about it, you ‘re in luck. Here are multiple ways to contact people in the government who represent your voice and tell them what you think.
And if you ‘re so bummed out that you ‘d like at least one laugh, here is montage video of babies eating lemons. It is very funny and will hopefully make you smile. Watch it and then contact your representatives.