By: Ben Wietmarschen
1. Dolphins fire head coach Joe Philbin, who has been riding the Millennium Wheel by himself, silently, curled up in the fetal position for the last 24 hours.
After losing their third straight game of the season to the Jets in London, the Dolphins broke the news to Philibin that he was fired. Presumably comforted by the perpetual rising and falling of the famous Ferris Wheel on the River Thames, mirroring his own life ‘s successes and failures, Philbin got on, told the British carny to ‘start ‘er up!” and has refused to get out or give anyone else a turn since.
Much like the Millennium Wheel in London, the Dolphins continue to part of the NFL landscape that everyone knows exists but also something that everyone assumes is broken and not worth learning about or getting excited for.
2. Martellus Bennett compared Jay Cutler to Jesus because Bennet tells all his sins to Jay Cutler.