27 Goodest Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week #3

Sorry I animorphed at your quincea ‘era and made it about me.

‘ Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 4, 2015

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More chung got wanged in 1986 than at any other period in our nation's history.

‘ Mr. Anthropy (@Zwolf666) October 8, 2015

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Tombstone of two of the best breakdancers pic.twitter.com/i1riSYFsOo

‘ Mike Glazer (@glazerboohoohoo) September 25, 2014

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“I can't stand Derain.” – Missy Elliot on early 20th century French art

‘ joe mande (@JoeMande) October 5, 2015

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The Nobel Prize in chemistry goes to… Pam & Jim from “The Office”? What the

‘ Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) October 7, 2015

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want to feel old? this is what Dinosaurs' Baby Sinclair looks like in 2015 pic.twitter.com/ox6yvGCEW3

‘ Gregory Possum-Liker (@cat_beltane) October 10, 2015

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[Batman at McDonald's]
What's your chicken sandwich called?
-A McChicken
And the rib?
-A McRib
[pulls out his batwallet] I like your style.

‘ The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 1, 2015

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Internalized sexism: All these years, I've just assumed Dr. Pepper was a man.

‘ Kristin (@FeralCrone) October 7, 2015

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“Dasani” is Nigerian for “lol u bought tap water.”

‘ Trevor S (@trevso_electric) July 18, 2015

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Kix Cereal: Kid tested, Mother approved, Father is dead.

‘ Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) October 8, 2015

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Netflix is raising its price by a dollar? Time to change my plans to “YouTube and chill.”

‘ Matt Nedostup (@nedostup) October 9, 2015

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JASON: Oh good, this saves me some time. pic.twitter.com/STHQ2zE1Tv

‘ pat tobin (@tastefactory) October 4, 2015

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Oh you're a basketball fan? Name 3 basketballs.

‘ Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) June 10, 2015

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I wish you could mark conversations as unsaid.

‘ Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 5, 2015

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the hippothalmus is the part of the brain that controls how hungry hungry you get

‘ Ali Garfinkel (@aligarchy) April 9, 2015

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Trying to get my parents to move to LA so I can move in with them

‘ AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) October 4, 2015

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People say I overthink things, but I could give you like 50 reasons why each of them are wrong

‘ JP Lovecraft (@online_shawn) October 5, 2015

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okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?

‘ Myq Kaplan (@myqkaplan) October 9, 2015

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“I just tried to make reservations at the library”
You don't need a res-
“Couldn't get one though”
Don't do this
“They were fully booked”

‘ dan mentos (@DanMentos) May 4, 2015

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When you click on a trending topic pic.twitter.com/v38GeSmEuE

‘ Jocelyn Plums (@ColoradoUgly) October 9, 2015

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Steve Jobs is in theaters this weekend. But I'm waiting for the Steve JobsS.

‘ Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) October 9, 2015

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[spelling bee]
JUDGE: your word is “bananas”
GWEN STEFANI: oh hell yes

‘ emma (@emmagarton) September 20, 2015

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Nice try, poison. pic.twitter.com/jrVbRZt8PC

‘ Mxrk (@mxrk) October 8, 2015

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If we go under 50 Peter Pan adaptations per year, the bus will explode.

‘ Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) October 9, 2015

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just said “squad” out loud as I passed a pile of garbage on the street

‘ Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) October 8, 2015

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*billy corgan voice* the world is a van pile pic.twitter.com/G4UhYGCqIC

‘ 1989 Aerostars $300 (@Aerostars4Sale) October 9, 2015

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Getty Images should change its name to Getty Words And Pictures so we can call it Getty WAP

‘ Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) October 9, 2015