By: Mike Glazer
Why You Can Get Away With Anything During Daylight Saving Time
This Sunday, at 2 a.m., we set our clocks ahead one hour, signifying Daylight Savings Time. Most people celebrate this by sleeping through it, but that ‘s a HUGE mistake because anything you do between that first 1 ‘2 a.m. disappears forever like it never happened.
The incredible gift of Daylight Saving Time explained:
1 ‘2 a.m. ‘ Do whatever you want
2 a.m. ‘ Set your clock back to 1 a.m.
= that first 1 ‘2 a.m. never existed. PARTY!!!
Here ‘s some sweet sweet ways to use that extra hour before it drifts into the void:
BEER:
- Power Hour, baby! From 1 ‘2 a.m. take a shot of beer every minute for an hour. Then, set your clocks back and do it again. That ‘s twice as much power!
VENT ABOUT WORK:
- Email everyone in your office why you hate them because once you set your clocks back those emails will cease to exist and disappear.
VENT ABOUT FAMILY:
- See above. Family members are like coworkers you ‘re related to.
MASTURBATE:
- A lot. Really go for it. Set a new record, and don ‘t feel guilty either because once you set your clocks back you ‘ll still get into Heaven.
QUIT BEING ALL TALK:
- Build up that tolerance to poison you ‘ve been bragging about.
PARTY:
- Throw a three-minute ‘Fall Back” party. At 1:58 everyone arrives. At 1:59 celebrate the time change. At 1:00 re-enact the entire party backwards. Celebrate backwards, talk backwards, and have everyone walk backwards out the door the way they came in. (also this one is very dumb)
The above choices too crazy? Here are a few anyone can agree are worthwhile.
FILM:
- Watch The Marx Brothers ‘ Duck Soup. (technically a 68-minute film, but hands down the funniest hour of film ever created)
CRY:
- Yup! Just cry. This one is pretty simple.
CLEAN:
- Remember those books you always swore you were gonna read? Throw them away already. You ‘re not someone who keeps there word about bettering themselves. Clean your place up then watch it magically turn back into a dump.
DRAW THE FOLLOWING:
- A pug riding a root beer bottle over Niagara Falls as Harrison Ford dangles from a helicopter in the background. Across the bottom it says, ‘They don ‘t make root beer like this anymore!” ***if you draw this please tag it \#fordpug
DETERMINATION:
Ta-Da! These are only some of the ways to enjoy an hour we ‘re required by law to erase. Try one, or make up your own and leave it in the comments below. After all, humans invented Daylight Saving Time, so how we spend time that doesn ‘t exist is up to us!
