By: Funny Or Die
The Full List Of Demands For Future Republican Debates
Following the last GOP presidential debate, advisers from at least 11 Republican campaigns met to create a list of demands for upcoming debates to gain greater control against what they saw as political bias and arbitrary rules.
- The undercard debate will shed this condescending moniker and instead be referred to as the ‘GOP Babies” debate.
- We get to talk about Hillary ‘s emails now.
- Each candidate must perform the Planned Parenthood videos as an interpretive dance.
- Everybody gets to enter the stage on a Hoverboard 360 balance board, one at a time, to individual theme music.
- Every following debate will start with the candidates bowing to a solid gold statue of Ronald Reagan.
- Every question for Mike Huckabee will be, ‘What ‘s it like being such a big boy?”
- If he feels like he ‘s being slighted by the other candidates, Jeb is allowed to eat his podium.
- Finally, TWO Trumps.
- Rubio and Jeb must refer to Florida as ‘my garbage state.”
- Huckabee finally allowed to dress in his precious Mrs. Doubtfire costume.