By: Dan Abramson

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What Idiot Spent $170M On That Nude Painting When You Can Download Nude Paintings On The Internet For Free?

Not sure if you guys read the news (my favorite source for current events is, but recently ‘Reclining Nude” by Amedeo Modigliani was auctioned at Christie ‘s, selling for $170 million.

Listen I love nude paintings as much as the next guy, but that seems extremely high considering you can download paintings of naked women for FREE on the internet.

Here ‘s the painting that some idiot wasted his money on that I am currently able to look at without even grabbing my wallet.

My internet bill is like 80 bucks a month so this guy overpaid by roughly $169,999,920

It ‘s not bad, I guess. I like the part where she ‘s naked. But I like the naked part on A LOT of paintings. And with the internet, there are literally hundreds of websites where you can get your fix of naked parts. It ‘s not like the old days where you had to buy Renaissance art textbooks and hide them in history textbooks in order to see some nude women, gracefully depicted on canvas. Though if I ‘m being fully honest, I do miss those days. It was a special rite of passage the first time you stole your dad ‘s copy of ‘The Work Of Cezanne” and hid it under your mattress.

But it ‘s a new day and if get your jollies by seeing the female form tastefully painted in a post-impressionist style you can literally type those exact words and boom, jollies received.

Here look. Here are some nude paintings I found on the internet.

Found this one by Googling ‘Art best butt angel baby”
I don ‘t even know what gender these taut bodies are, but as an art aficionado, I do not care.

See what ‘s out there? Hell, I didn ‘t pay a dime for those. I ‘m starting to think if this guy is willing to pay $170 million, he must be one of those insane billionaires we read about in the news. The ones who just want to flaunt their wealth and grab headlines by hanging a beautiful rendering of an unnamed model on a crimson couch, one that originally debuted to a shocked but devoted French art community. I mean, his business is his business, but if he really wanted to he could just download a hi-res PNG of this painting, take a photo of it, save it to a USB drive, and bring that drive to his nearest Kinko ‘s to print out.

It ‘s very simple.

I could do that, too. Well all could. But we ‘re not all deranged perverts. Besides, I ‘m more of a Paul Gauguin man, myself, and I have a lot of his work to click on before my wife gets home.

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