By: Funny Or Die

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‘Win Ben Stein’s Money’ Updated Racist Rules

Former actor/gameshow host Ben Stein took the final step from “conservative pundit” to “racist grandpa that maybe shouldn ‘t be allowed near cameras or microphones anymore” after this quote from his most recent television appearance:

He [Obama] has a real strong hatred of America. Is it because he ‘s part black?

‘ Ben Stein on 'The Steve Malzberg Show' 11/17/2015

In light of this insane statement, the rule changes that Ben Stein was pushing for on his former gameshow “Win Ben Stein ‘s Money” now make more sense:

  • Black contestants can only win 3/5ths Ben Stein ‘s money.
  • If a person of color wins, the whole show will be revealed to have been a Jimmy Kimmel prank.
  • New categories include: “Why Can ‘t You Just Pull Up Your Pants,” “Kids, Get Inside,” and “Be Honest, You ‘re Denzel Washington, Right?”
  • New executive producer Daniel Snyder and new sidekick Jon Voight.
  • In the final round Ben Stein will still go into the isolation booth but mostly to get away from, as he calls them, “ethnics.”
  • Chinese people can ‘t participate in the math questions because “they have an unfair advantage.”
  • Stein starts every show by saying, “If you do win my money, it can only be used for white things like pasta.”
  • Instead of becoming a “common contestant” in the second round, Stein just yells at some black kids for loitering.
  • The only question in the ‘Best of 10 Test of Knowledge ‘ bonus round is, “Name a black president I don ‘t like” repeated 10 times.
  • YouTube feed of new warm-up comic:

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