27 Goodest Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week #10

[18th Century Sext]
My dearest Caroline, please write by return of post to estimate what you may be wearing several days from now.
Yours etc

‘ Erren Michaels (@ErrenMichaels) November 22, 2015

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[at airport]
Customs Official: Do you have anything to declare?
Southern Belle: No

‘ pat tobin (@tastefactory) October 1, 2015

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grandpa: ur father changed after the war
me: somtimes emojis i never use appear in my frequently used page and i dont kno how they got there

‘ jomny sun (@jonnysun) November 24, 2015

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Someone needs to stop that kid pic.twitter.com/29EidW5ku2

‘ Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) October 22, 2015

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“Should I knock him out?”

“Ask your mother.”

(LL Cool J and his dad)

‘ Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) November 24, 2015

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You think cocaine is cool? Well here's something that'll change your mind!
*cranks the Eagles greatest hits*
*my son starts crying*

‘ Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) November 24, 2015

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Imagine being in Jethro Tull & the other guys say we aren’t gonna do flute in this one and you just have to sit there with your stupid flute

‘ ryan (crap( (@Karate_Horse) May 18, 2015

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ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before.
INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again.

‘ Paul (@FrenulumBreve) August 19, 2015