By: Funny Or Die
The new human you created is great and all, but we also have some standards.
*gets my infant baby’s nose pierced instead of her ears* legend
‘ mother matisse (@nurserycrimes) February 27, 2015
I’d been looking for a way to create sexual tension between me and my infant nephew. pic.twitter.com/HgXKhtr0
‘ Emily Toffelmire (@klickitatstreet) December 24, 2012
WIFE: aww honey our baby girl is drawing people now! ME: please call an exorcist pic.twitter.com/FjHEvpanZm
‘ ryan (@Karate_Horse) December 9, 2015
i forget – are unbaptized babies doomed to an eternity in limbo, or are they good at limbo? i love limbo.
‘ mary houlihan (@maryhoulie) December 28, 2013
Worried about one day having a baby and not being able to get my required 14 hours of sleep per night
‘ Lauren Lapkus (@laurenlapkus) June 24, 2013
“Make any good tweets today?” asks my wife, peeling potatoes with a squalling infant at each breast, but I sense she’s not really interested
‘ afbradstone (@afbradstone) December 22, 2013