By: Funny Or Die
27 Hot Tweets About Babies You’ll Wish You Could Raise As Your Own
The new human you created is great and all, but we also have some standards.
*gets my infant baby’s nose pierced instead of her ears* legend
‘ mother matisse (@nurserycrimes) February 27, 2015
I’d been looking for a way to create sexual tension between me and my infant nephew. pic.twitter.com/HgXKhtr0
‘ Emily Toffelmire (@klickitatstreet) December 24, 2012
WIFE: aww honey our baby girl is drawing people now! ME: please call an exorcist pic.twitter.com/FjHEvpanZm
‘ ryan (@Karate_Horse) December 9, 2015
i forget – are unbaptized babies doomed to an eternity in limbo, or are they good at limbo? i love limbo.
‘ mary houlihan (@maryhoulie) December 28, 2013
Worried about one day having a baby and not being able to get my required 14 hours of sleep per night
‘ Lauren Lapkus (@laurenlapkus) June 24, 2013
“Make any good tweets today?” asks my wife, peeling potatoes with a squalling infant at each breast, but I sense she’s not really interested
‘ afbradstone (@afbradstone) December 22, 2013