By: Ben Wietmarschen
Birch Box, Bark Box, And A Guide To The Best Subscription Boxes To Give This Christmas
With the huge popularity of Birch Box, Bark Box, and Trunk Club, subscription boxes are all the rage this holiday gift-giving season. And it ‘s easy to see why! Monthly boxes of surprise treats with a certain theme are perfect for the hard-to-buy-for friend or relative.
It turns out, there ‘s a subscription box for virtually every type of person, no matter how broad or specific your knowledge of them. Below are six subscription box gifts that might help you cross off the last name on your Christmas list.
1. Nosh Boss
A fantastic option for that guy or gal who loves to snack! Constantly! All day long! And if they don ‘t have something to snack on they get nervous and sometimes they think that their snacking is more about just having something to do with their hands than being hungry and they ‘re really starting to worry about it.
**Each month ‘s box includes:
-1 gigantic bag of food.
-1 new clean bucket for spitting out chewed food so that they don ‘t get fat.
2. Knives Box
Sometimes you hardly know someone but you get the feeling they like knives. Maybe they ‘re a chef. Maybe they hunt. Maybe they chimed in with some very specific and very tangential information about what kinds of knives are legal during an otherwise non-knife-centric conversation. Whatever it is, you can just feel they like knives and they would look forward to getting new knives every month.
**Each month ‘s box includes:
-A bunch of different types of knives. Some sharp, some dull, some for cooking, some for ‘other.” Once you open each box a bunch of different sized and shaped knives spill out, willy-nilly.
-A pack of themed Band-Aids.
-A cool-ass sheath.
-Cigarettes.
3. Weekend Tour-ier
Made specially for the person in your life who ‘s always, like, doing stuff. Every weekend they ‘ve got their little plans to go somewhere a few towns over and do ‘ whatever.
**Each month ‘s box includes:
-A day pass to a new museum, zoo, arboretum, or water park between 50 and 100 miles away from the subscriber ‘s home. Close enough that it won ‘t take all day but far enough away that they ‘ll feel like they accomplished something by simply getting there.
-A cute little outfit. Each month there ‘s a new, versatile, cute little outfit that this person can wear to whatever little thing they ‘re going to. Outfits often include: berets, rompers, and those jackets that are just big blankets!
-A bag of souvenir candy to share with coworkers the next day to prove they made the little trip they bragged about all Friday afternoon.
4. Headphone-y Baloney
Just the right gift for the friend or acquaintance you know nothing about except that they always have headphones on when you bump into them on the street. This is the only thing you associate them with for some reason: That they always got those ‘phones on.
**Each month ‘s box includes:
-Headphones.
-That ‘s it. So make sure if you give this to someone that they really like headphones and they also like having A LOT of headphones. Because those babies are gonna pile up.
5. Sports Man Bundle
Perfect for the guy you hardly know who consistently mentions last night ‘s game and is always wearing a baseball cap with a logo on it you don ‘t recognize.
**Each month ‘s box includes:
-Plain jerseys!
-Random tickets!
-A nondescript ball that can be turned into a basketball, soccer ball, giant baseball, or odd-shaped football by drawing the appropriate lines on it depending on what sport the receiver is into that month (Black Sharpie provided).
-A bag of microwaveable chicken wings ‘ various levels of hot!
-The latest ESPN The Magazine (So, it ‘s basically like getting a subscription to ESPN The Magazine!)
6. Woof-Woof Case
A great gift option for anyone you ‘ve ever heard say, ‘I ‘d love to get a dog but it feels unfair to them because my apartment ‘s too small.”
**Each month ‘s box includes:
-Legal guardianship documents for a new dog that lives on a gigantic beautiful farm, far far away.
-A bill for all the dog ‘s shots, food, and a stipend for the caretaker who cleans up after them, plays with them, and gets all the dog ‘s love.
-A picture of the happy dog and its caretaker having fun together that you can put up on your small apartment ‘s pathetic little refrigerator.
