By: News

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Nintendo World Championships Coming Back This Summer, Better Start Training

It ‘s been 25 years since Nintendo last held a world championship for video games, which, you have to admit, is a long time for the world to not know who the best Nintendo player is. But at this summer ‘s E3 (that is, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, video gaming ‘s largest convention) Nintendo has announced it plans to bring back the Nintendo World Championship, The Wizard ‘style, on June 14th at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles. The announcement was made in this lovably goofy, kind of weird video starring the actual CEO of Nintendo America, Reggie Fils-Aime.

Apparently, gamers can qualify for the competition at regional events to be held at Best Buy locations around the country. It is still unknown what games the championship will use to crown its champion. The last tournament used a combination of challenges in three popular games of the time: Super Mario Bros., Rad Racer, and Tetris.

No matter which games Nintendo decides to use for the tournament, one thing is for sure when it come to any kind of World Championship: If you wanna win, you gotta train. I contacted a few potential contenders for the Nintendo crown to see how they ‘re planning to get ready for the big tournament.

Trent Letch, 22: ‘To train for the Nintendo World Championships I plan to up my intake of Mt. Dew tenfold and stay up all night playing video games no matter what my mom says.

Jeremy Zachrewski, 31: “The best way to train for the Nintendo World Championships is to squeeze a tennis ball really hard so that your hand never gets tired from pushing buttons and moving joysticks.”

Kylie Toots, 16: ‘I ‘m gonna train by playing Nintendo during homeroom because Mrs. McGuiggen doesn ‘t pay attention anyway. But to be honest, my school doesn ‘t sell Mt. Dew anymore because soda companies are evil, so I probably won ‘t win.”

Vincent ‘Triple Threat” Teague, 38: ‘I don ‘t need to train because I have a Power Glove and I have a Power Glove because I ‘m the richest boy in the neighborhood and if I ever want something I get it because my dad is a rich businessman and we have a small refrigerator in the basement that ‘s always full of my Mt. Dews.”

Zach Cody, 27: ‘I ‘m gonna train by holding a very bright screen up to my face for two-hour intervals and have a Clockwork Orange ‘style harness holding my body down and my eyes open so my eyes can get used to staring at a bright screen. And I ‘ll pay my neighbor to drip Mt. Dew slowly into my mouth while this happens.”

Jim ‘Sheldon” Parsons, 42: ‘I play a nerd on TV but few people realize that I ‘m actually a huge Nintendo-head. But anyway, I ‘ll be training in between takes on The Big Bang Theory. It should be easy because all my character ever does on the show is pop into view every once in a while and say, “Bazinga!” I ‘ll also be drinking lots of Mt. Dew. ‘

Megan Kolp, 33: “Last time I stayed up all night playing Nintendo I got into this zone where I could close my eyes and feel the action happening on the screen without seeing it. So, I plan to stay up all night before the tournament.How will I stay up all night? By drinking a ton of Dew.”

Dave S., 48: ‘I sleep in Mt. Dew and you should too! What was the question?”

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