By: News

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CNN Reporter Mistakes Sex Toy Flag For ISIS Flag And Admits She Faced No Repercussions From CNN

What ‘s that flying above the London gay pride parade? A man in a Superman speedo! A rainbow float! An ISIS flag?

According to CNN reporter Lucy Pawle, someone was proudly waving what she thought was an ISIS flag at London ‘s pride celebration. Pawle snapped a few photos, sent them over to CNN headquarters, or wherever they fear-monge out of, and the news channel had a field day.

However, the black flag, which Pawle recognized did not have Arabic lettering on it, but rather some type of ‘gobbledy-gook” lettering, was actually just a flag with images of dildos and butt plugs on it. So ‘not exactly the flag of the world ‘s leading terrorist organization.

In her first interview since the false report, Pawle admits to her mistake but is very clear she was in the right to jump to such drastic assumptions, in fact it is in CNN ‘s policy to freak out and hyperbolize something to its fullest potential.

FoD: Where were you when you spotted the flag that you mistook as an ISIS flag?

Pawle: I was on my way home from work when I saw a man dressed in dark colors in the annual gay pride parade waving what I thought could be a flag for the Jihadist Islamic State of Iraq.

FoD: Why then did you report it as the ISIS flag?

Pawle: Oh, simply because at CNN you ‘re given a bonus if you can hit what we call a ‘current events trifecta.” This week ‘s trifecta was 1) homosexuality, 2) terrorism,and 3) flags.

FoD: What happened then when it came out that it was not an ISIS flag but an image of sex toys?

Pawle: It was slightly embarrassing that I was wrong but by the time I realized it, I had already received the bonus and was out spending it.

FoD: Surely CNN was embarrassed by the mistake?

Pawle: I don ‘t believe that they were, actually. If anything it was a nice distraction from Don Lemon holding up a sign with the N-word on it, which was a tactic they employed to distract upset viewers just moments after he held up the Confederate flag.

FoD: So are you saying that CNN is essentially a network profiting off shock value and filling the time between newsworthy moments by sensationalizing weather events?

Pawle: Sure, you could say that. Now excuse me, I have to attend my toddler ‘s pre-K graduation where I think I can spin that they ‘re all abusing prescription formula milk.

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