Tom Cruise Makes His Demands For ‘Top Gun 2’

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

Kev! I was doing some thinking (the power of thought, man!) and I ‘d be stoked to do another Top Gun. Can you see if any wordmen are interesting in taking a couple hours to make that?

Merry Christmas!

-Tom Cruise

To: tomcruise@acting.com
From: kevin@caa.com
Subject: RE: Top Gun 2?

Hey Tom,

It ‘s June but thank you.

Before I answer, when you say ‘wordmen,” do you mean “writers”?

Either way, the script ‘s already in development and for what it ‘s worth, it takes more than a couple hours.

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

Who is this?

-Tom Cruise

To: tomcruise@acting.com
From: kevin@caa.com
Subject: RE: Top Gun 2?

It ‘s Kevin, your agent.

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

Oh hey Kev! You should really sign your emails with your name so people know who is talking. Unlike in old letters where you can tell based on their handwriting and smell of their hand, emails are just made of what scientists call ‘fonts.” Everyone writes in Times New Roman, with the exception of me, who writes in ‘Thunder.”

-Tom Cruise

To: tomcruise@acting.com
From: kevin@caa.com
Subject: RE: Top Gun 2?

First of all, nope. Also, Thunder is not a font.

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

Who is this?

From,
Tom Cruise

To: tomcruise@acting.com
From: kevin@caa.com
Subject: RE: Top Gun 2?

Listen, do you want to be in the new Top Gun movie?

-Kevin

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

Hey Kev! Good to hear from you. Would love to be in a new movie! How about Top Gun?

-Tom Thunder Cruise

To: tomcruise@acting.com
From: kevin@caa.com
Subject: RE: Top Gun 2?

Great, Tom. I ‘ll let them know. Before I start negotiating, and I regret what I ‘m about to ask, do you have any specific requests? Any scenes you want to do? Changes you want to see?

-Kevin

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

Hey Kev! I do. I ‘d love the film to be updated to reflect modern times. So instead of fighter jets how about jet skis? You still get the word ‘jets” in there, so I think audiences would follow and be on board.

Tom Cruise

Also maybe lose the volleyball scene and replace it with me putting on sunglasses and laughing maniacally for 10 minutes?

To: tomcruise@acting.com
From: kevin@caa.com
Subject: RE: Top Gun 2?

I ‘ll see what I can find out. But I doubt that they ‘ll green light a movie about jet skis. Top Gun is about the Navy and given the current state of warfare, it ‘ll likely have to do with drones. Not jet skis.

-Kevin

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

Ha! Excellent! Great call, movie execs! Once again you ‘ve won my heart! Anyway, I ‘ve already done some test shots of me riding a drone that ‘ll help grease the wheels.

-Tom Cruise

To: tomcruise@acting.com
From: kevin@caa.com
Subject: RE: Top Gun 2?

You and I both know that ‘s a photoshop, and a bad one at that. Also, you don ‘t need to grease the wheels.

You ‘re

Tom Cruise

To: kevin@caa.com
From: tomcruise@acting.com
Subject: Top Gun 2?

HOLY MOLY I WROTE MYSELF AN EMAIL!!!

-Tom Cruise 2: Ghost Protocol

P.S. I love your work. Big fan. You were amazing in ‘Lions for Lambs.”