By: Funny Or Die

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Everyone In The Office Lists Their Favorite Han Solo Moments

With the announcement of the upcoming Star Wars spinoff film exploring the origins of beloved character Han Solo, some folks in the office thought it was a great time to reminisce about our favorite Han moments.


To: Mike, Pat, Josh
From: Dan Abramson
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Hey guys! I think we all saw the Han Solo news!!!

Figured this would be a great time for us all to talk about our favorite Han moments.

Let’s do it!

To: Dan, Mike, Pat
From: Josh Brown
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Too obvious to pick Han shooting first in the original trilogy before George Lucas messed that up in the re-release?

To: Mike, Pat, Josh
From: Dan Abramson
Subject: Han Solo movie!

It’s a classic for a reason. For the sake of just getting the gimmes out of the way, how about when he says “I know” after Leia she says she loves him. Constantly think about that scene.

To: Josh, Dan, Pat
From: Mike Scollins
Subject: Han Solo movie!

I actually haven’t seen all the Star Wars movies. I just have vague memories of him and Chewbacca being best friends.

To: Mike, Josh, Dan
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

yeah, that ‘s what i loved – do you guys remember when they hooked up?

To: Pat, Mike, Josh
From: Dan Abramson
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Han and Chewy? Pat, I don’t think that happened. Maybe you’re thinking of when they’re cramped in the trash compactor?

To: Dan, Pat, Mike
From: Josh Brown
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Yeah, Pat no clue what you’re talking about.

Thought of another one: When Han – dressed as a stormtrooper – blasts the radio thing in the death star and says, “Boring conversation anyway.”

To: Josh, Dan, Mike
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

chewie ‘s the wookie, right? Han definitely fucked a wookie, i know that. would b weird if it wasn ‘t chewie.

To: Pat, Josh, Dan
From: Mike Scollins
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Wait, I didn’t see all the Star Wars movies but this definitely didn’t happen, right??? Is this a joke?

To: Mike, Josh, Dan
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

i mean i think they kissed and stuff first, they didn’t launch right into fucking lol. chill, Mike

To: Mike, Pat, Josh
From: Dan Abramson
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Pat, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt here, since there were a lot of Star Wars movies. Is it possible you’re just thinking of like fan fiction?

To: Dan, Mike, Pat
From: Josh Brown
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Don’t give him the benefit of the doubt! This NEVER happened!

To: Dan, Pat, Josh
From: Mike Scollins
Subject: Han Solo movie!

WAIT. Chewbacca’s like the gorilla dog, right?? He never fucked Han Solo. That’s insane.

To: Mike, Josh, Dan
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

I definitely remember it – I think it was Return of the Jedi. this was on vhs tho so maybe george lucas went in and removed it for dvd? dude ruins everything.

To: Mike, Josh, Dan
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

you guys remember ewoks?

To: Pat, Mike, Josh
From: Dan Abramson
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Yes. Why?

To: Dan, Pat, Josh
From: Mike Scollins
Subject: Han Solo movie!

To: Dan, Mike, Josh
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Han put his dick in a few ewoks too, right?

Mike u gotta turn off Safesearch

To: Pat, Mike, Josh
From: Dan Abramson
Subject: Han Solo movie!

No Pat. Never in his time on Endor did he fuck an ewok. He did have a great cocky shrug in that battle though when he fires at the control panel. That’s one of my faves, if you don’t me circling us back to the original topic.

To: Dan, Pat, Mike
From: Josh Brown
Subject: Han Solo movie!

How about just the whole getting frozen in carbonite thing? Classic noble han moment.

Also I Googled without safe search and found some real gross stuff. Nothing from the movies though.

To: Dan, Pat, Josh
From: Mike Scollins
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Is this a joke on me? I’m so fucking confused. What PG movie would be allowed to show DICK.

To: Mike, Dan, Josh
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

maybe he just shaved chewie’s butt and the sex was implied

To: Pat, Mike, Josh
From: Dan Abramson
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Okay fine. But if that did happen, I feel like it would have been addressed later and NOBODY seems to remember any mention or implication

To: Dan, Pat, Josh
From: Mike Scollins
Subject: Han Solo movie!

Why are you guys budging on this?!?! I haven’t even SEEN these movies and I’m STILL 10000% positive this was not a scene in the film. Pat is suggesting there is a part of Star Wars where HARRISON FORD HAS GAY SEX WITH A WOLF DOG WHILE IN SPACE.

You guys I’m gonna mute this convo.

To: Dan, Mike, Josh
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

all i know is han said that one line to leia where he was like “I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m not in it for you, princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money, and to fuck that wookie over there.”

To: Dan, Mike, Josh
From: Pat O’Brien
Subject: Han Solo movie!

his words.

To: Pat, Dan, Mike
From: Josh Brown
Subject: Han Solo movie!

I’ve seen all these movies and no character ever says, “fuck that wookie over there.”

Mike, just to clarify, wookies are more like bears than wolves or dogs.

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