By: News
15 Indicators Your SSN Was Compromised In The Massive Government Data Breach
The Office of Personnel Management announced today that 21 million Social Security lnumbers were compromised as the result of a massive database breach. But how can you be sure if your personal information was jeopardized in the hack? Here are some indicators that you were a victim:
- You arrive to work to find a Nigerian man with your same name already sitting at your desk
- According to your credit card statement, you have suddenly developed an all-consuming penchant for prostitutes in Dubai
- You ‘ve been getting a lot of strange emails when usually no one contacts you about anything, ever
- The Feds have stopped monitoring you because now they ‘ve just totally lost the thread
- Someone ordered an XXXL ‘Keep Calm And Let Out Your Farts” T-shirt on eBay with your PayPal account when you only need an XXL
- Despite the fact that you are a dead person, there has been a significant uptick in your online activity in recent months
- You now get a lot of junk mail for someone who clearly owns a cat when you are ‘ and always will be ‘ a complete ferret freak
- When you Google your name, your SSN pops up as the third hit
- President Barack Obama called you, mumbled ‘sorry,” then hung up real quick
- A Chinese scrap-metal processing corporation now legally owns your home
- You only joined two-thirds the number of pay-porn sites you ‘re being billed for
- You meet another guy named ‘Jim”
- Someone applied for a passport in your name, and the culprit appears to be far more adventurous, well-traveled, and interesting than you are
- Your credit has vastly and inexplicably improved
- If you are an adult American who has ever been lawfully employed at any job, sorry ‘ your Social Security number was stolen