‘True Detective’ Is Not Funny At All

When I first found out that Vince Vaughn was going to be on True Detective, I was excited. Finally Vaughn would anchor his own television comedy ‘ and on HBO no less ‘ giving him the opportunity to show off his comedic chops without limitation. Americans would finally get what they wanted. The star of classics like Wedding Crashers, Fred Claus, and Dodgeball being on TV every week, playing the lovable loser who gets into wacky situations. Much to my chagrin, I ‘ve been tuning into True Detective every single week and it still hasn ‘t gotten funny at all.

Now I ‘m all for action-comedies. I loved The Watch as much as the next guy. But I mean the writing on True Detective pales in comparison. It ‘s all action, and barely any comedy. I mean I guess it was kind of funny when Taylor Kitsch ‘s mom took all his money, but that ‘s five episodes in. As far as comedies go, True Detective is at the bottom of the list. I ‘ve laughed out loud maybe twice. Once at the money stealing, and then again at the end of that hilarious shootout when all the characters give each other that classic ‘whoopsie-daisy” look. Those two scenes were hilarious, I ‘ll give the show that. But that ‘s not enough, and I don ‘t think it ‘s the actor ‘s fault. I mean all comedy starts with the writing, right?

I think Vaughn is being treated unfairly. The writing is terrible, and not funny at all, and I have a sneaking suspicion that they aren ‘t letting Vaughn go for it. What the heck kind of show has Vince Vaughn on it and doesn ‘t let him riff like the grand master of laughs he is? Whoever is writing Vaughn ‘s character clearly doesn ‘t know funny. The writer ‘s have plenty of chances to give Vaughn scenes where he can get the laughs. One example is when Vaughn fought that big guy with the grill. I thought it was going to be a hilarious scene of Vaughn, the portly everyman, getting his butt handed to him in a hilarious, slapstick manner. Instead, to my horror, Vaughn not only won but he took the man ‘s teeth out one by one. He didn ‘t even use a dodgeball! What the heck, True Detective? If you ‘re going to have a guy who was in classics like The Internship at least let him improv a little bit, and try to get some laughs out of the abysmal mess that is your show.

Also, what the heck is up with having Vince Vaughn play a gangster in the first place? Gangsters are rarely funny,besides Corky Romano ‘ a hilarious albeit non-Vaughn gangster film. But True Detective isn ‘t at Corky Romano level. Not even close. I think True Detective would be a much better show if you had Vince Vaughn play either the owner of a failing gym who has to compete in some sort of sports tournament, or Santa Claus ‘ brother, or an intern who ‘s a little too old to be an intern. I think that whoever wrote this piece of garbage clearly has no idea what good comedy is. I mean what did this guy Nic Pizzolatto do before this? Stand-up? To get a comedy produced on HBO he must have. And I would love to see those videos, because he probably bombs.

Hey, HBO, here ‘s my idea for True Detective Season 3. Fire this hack Pizzolatto and hire a real comedy writer like Jason Ward, writer of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, and the aforementioned Corky Romano. You know, someone with actual comedy chops? And maybe get like Melissa McCarthy and David Spade to be in it. And bring back Vaughn, but don ‘t disrespect him this time.