WWE Drops Hulk Hogan Over Racist Rant And We Recommend He Retreat To The Woods

WWE has terminated its contract with wrestling megastar Hulk Hogan after a transcript of him making vulgar and racist remarks was brought to their attention.
Hogan, whose real name is Terry Bollea, was discussing who his daughter was dating when the conversation got unnecessarily racial.

‘I mean, I ‘d rather if she was going to f-ck some n-gger, I ‘d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall n-gger worth a hundred million dollars! Like a basketball player ‘ I guess we ‘re all a little racist. F-cking n-gger.”

While the wrestling organization has not released an official reason for releasing Hulk Hogan, a representative of theirs did have this to say.

‘WWE terminated its contract with Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan). WWE is committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers and fans worldwide.”

Now is the time for Hulk Hogan to pack up his ripped tank tops and bandanas and retreat into the woods for some serious personal reflection. There will be no smashing chairs into the back of people ‘s heads or Axe Bomber clothesline moves.

Hogan needs to sit himself down in the quiet wilderness and ask himself why he holds this hatred for black men. Why does he police who his daughter dates? Does he not believe she has the capability to make decisions for herself? Might these attitudes toward women and minorities be indicative of a deep self-hatred and cowardice within Hogan? Humanity can no longer heal him; he must take to the trees.

And while he is there, staying away from people and meditating on the anger he holds, perhaps he can take a moment to ask himself what he is hiding behind his outrageous appearance, too? That bleached fu manchu has to symptomatic of some deep, repressed emotions. Was there something in his childhood, something he lacked that causes him to wear ripped clothing?

Whatever it is, hopefully when Hogan reemerges into society with a proper haircut he ‘ll also possess a new found respect and for his fellow human beings, specifically those who might be different from him.

The woods are waiting, Mr. Hogan. They are waiting to nurture your broken soul.