HOT TAKE RETRACTION: Gelato Should NOT Fuck Off ‘Gelato Is Very Good

Earlier this week, we at Funny Or Die News ran an unfortunate article entitled ‘HOT TAKE: Gelato Can Fuck Off.”After having had a few days to reflect on what was said in this story, we would like to retract the article, in full, and offer our sincerest apologies to gelato and to anyone who was offended. We ‘re hoping our readership will bear with us, as we ‘re doing our best to educate ourselves on the matter; our thinking continues to evolve in regard to this issue.

However, we will say that we now think gelato is a delicious, perfectly wonderful summertime treat.

Some might say that we ‘re bending to pressure due to the deluge of high-profile social media salvos leveled at us by leading contemporary thinkers, who rightfully took us to task for our tone and our (admittedly poor) choice of words ‘these include the following tweets:

And others will no doubt have noted recent industry reports that Funny Or Die has been paid a substantial amount of money to make branded content for the International Brotherhood of Gelato Makers (stay tuned for a video wherein Will Ferrell argues with a baby gelato artisan!). Based on this, it ‘s understandable how one might consider this suspicious timing for a full retraction of ‘Hot Take: Gelato Can Fuck Off.”

Nothing could be further from the truth. We don ‘t let the possibility of bad PR or money decisions or even that other reason we ‘re writing this retraction dictate our editorial process in any way, shape or form. We ‘ve simply had a change of heart and realized the terrible error we made in publishing an ill-informed, damaging piece of filth.

So, again ‘please accept our heartfelt apologies, and our promise to do our best in the future to engage in responsible, progressive commentary. Gelato should NOT fuck off. Ted Cruz 2016.