By: Funny Or Die

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In Solidarity With Obama, Funny Or Die Writers Share The Last Time We Cried

While announcing his executive actions to reduce gun violence, President Obama became visibly emotional and cried several tears that he had to wipe away from his face. It was moving to see honest vulnerability in reaction to the tragedy of the gun violence epidemic coming from the highest office in the land. Predictably, some in the media responded with skepticism or even downright vitriol.

Whatever your stance on gun control, we think that this country could use a little more humanity, and that includes not making fun of someone when they cry. So in a sign of solidarity with President Obama and the idea of vulnerability in general, the writers at the Funny Or Die New York office decided to share the last time they cried. The following are honest answers to this question. Most of them are not funny. We hope that ‘s okay.

Writer: Mike Scollins
Last time I cried: The last time I cried was watching a movie called ROOM staring Brie Larson as a lady going through a really tough time. And I didn ‘t just cry in one scene. I cried throughout the entire movie. Basically I wept for 2 hours straight. One scene in particular but I don ‘t wanna spoil it for people ‘ let ‘s just say it involves a b-o-y meeting a d-o-g. But yeah, Obama is free to cry when talking about guns. I ‘ve cried for way less.

OH! Also any YouTube video when a baby gets a cochlear ear implant or a dog doesn ‘t know his owner ‘s dead and is confused.

Writer: Zack Poitras
Last time I cried: Monday, January 4th. When this was first brought up in our pitch meeting I told everyone the last time I cried was at a wedding on New Years, but that wasn ‘t true. I actually cried Monday night, while my wife Caroline was flying to Prague. I sat on my couch and imagined finding out the plane crashed in the Atlantic Ocean. I began crying as I thought about finding out the news via phone call because I ‘m the emergency contact, then having to call her family and tell them, and how I would probably never really love anyone like that again, and I would just give everything away and head to the mountains. Then I realized how fucked up it would be to be crying about this imaginary situation and then actually find out the plane crashed, and then I would think that I caused the crash in some way, and I would never forgive myself, so I stopped crying and put on Inglorious Basterds. Caroline is enjoying Prague.

Writer: Nate Dern
Last time I cried: Last night while watching the finale of the second season of Transparent. I also cried during the penultimate episode. Great show!

Writer: Jason Flowers
Last time I cried: If you don ‘t count my daily eight-minute-cry on the subway each morning, the last time I cried was on Christmas Eve at my family ‘s annual holiday party. As we were nearing the end of the gift exchange, my mom handed a present to one of her sisters who was having an especially tough year. Turns out, my mom had gotten her a tablet to replace the one she had broken a few months back but couldn ‘t afford to fix. As my aunt slowly realized exactly what the gift was the sheer look of appreciation in her eyes was enough for me to lose it. It was the first time in a while where a Christmas present truly felt like a gift, as opposed to just some item you buy to cross of your holiday to-do list. It was pretty beautiful. Almost as beautiful as this.

Art director: Nathan Maggio
Last time I cried: I honestly don ‘t know the last time I cried and that really worries me. I feel a lot of tension in my chest most days. I hope that it is just a cry, waiting to come out.

Writer: Ben Wietmarschen
Last time I cried: My Grandma ‘s funeral. She was a great woman and truly the kindest most patient person I ever met. She often told a story about how, as a kid, she could kick a football higher than any of the boys in her neighborhood, a fact she was extremely proud of.

Writer: Kady Ruth Ashcraft
Last time I cried: I got emergency surgery about 4 weeks ago and my mom came to take care of me afterwards because I couldn ‘t sit up or bend over or really do much of anything for a few days. It ended up being a very nice bonding weekend with my mom, where we we had no agenda and just sat in my bed and watched movies and caught up. When she left four days after my surgery and I was alone for the first time, I started crying a whole bunch. I was sort of nervous about being on my own and mostly just very happy and scared about how much I love my mom and how wonderful she was all weekend when I was being cranky and pretty farty.

I tried to cry last week when my shoulder really hurt to emphasize just how much it hurt because I felt no one believed me. But I couldn ‘t make myself cry and eventually my shoulder felt a lot better.

Writer: Jesse Neil
Last time I cried: The night of the Funny Or Die holiday party my girlfriend and I got into a really big fight. We ‘ve only been dating for about three months, but we ‘re crazy in love with each other, and this was our first real fight. We also live together, and she moved from Boston to NYC to be with me. We both cried (I think she cried too, but it ‘s totally possible only I did) and on my end it was because I was really sad about having upset somebody I care about so much. I ended up being very scared that we ‘d done irreparable damage to the relationship, but we ‘re doing very well. Why are we sharing these, anyway? I wasn ‘t at the meeting where this idea was discussed. You ‘re not posting this online are you?

Writer: Jenny Nelson
Last time I cried: A few Fridays ago I was at the movies with my friend and she asked me what I thought of the movie but then interrupted me as I was telling her which made me a little upset, and then she got upset that I was being sensitive and said she was gonna go home if I was gonna be like this, which made me sad so then I took a walk and cried by myself until we (very cheesily) reunited like 1.5 minutes later to both apologize and talk about how neither of us had gotten a lot of sleep that week.

Managing editor: Dan Abramson
Last time I cried: I don ‘t think I should be included in this because of how often I cry. It happens so often that it ‘s ultimately meaningless and is not a reflection of how I felt at a certain moment. Regardless, here are the last few:

-Last night I watched “Jobs”, the Ashton Kutcher, TV-Movie Quality (at best) biopic of Steve Jobs. It ‘s terrible and should not illicit any response outside of “wait, how long is this movie?” Nevertheless, tears were shed because the movie ended with that “Here ‘s to the crazy ones” quote.

-Another recent time was just now because I remembered that the “here ‘s to the crazy ones” quote exists and I started thinking about it. The real one. Not the Kutcher one. And not the Richard Dreyfus one that he must ‘ve recorded while having a cold ‘ like not one so bad that he ‘d call in sick, but enough to make you think perhaps they should ‘ve just re-recorded the following day. I ‘m talking the Steve Jobs version. Say what you want about him, but that man could nail a V.O.

-Voice overs in general make me cry.

Writer: Matt Klinman
Last time I cried: Over the holidays when I talked to my girlfriend about how it feels profoundly unfair that we will someday get married but that my developmentally disabled brother will never be able to. He is a wonderful guy and it crushes me that there are just aspects of life he doesn ‘t get to participate in. Most times I cry it ‘s about my brother.

Thanks for reading and thanks to all of those brave, emotional warriors out there! If you feel like it, let us know when the last time you cried was in the comments.

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