By: Funny Or Die

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Highlights From Obama’s Final State Of The Union

Last night President Obama delivered his final State Of The Union address. Obama focused on a message of optimism and reassurance to the nation. See below for highlights.

  • Hearing Bernie Sanders shout “That ‘s what I ‘m talkin ‘ about, baby!” every time Obama mentioned the American middle class.
  • Obama ‘s reading glasses delivered by drones.
  • Obama asking Congress to spend $1 billion on Powerball tickets.
  • President Obama winning over the hostile Republicans in the crowd by breaking out his trusty t-shirt gun.
  • The surprise kiss between Madonna and Kim Davis.
  • Obama totally spacing on why he invited a potato farmer.
  • ‘The Martian ‘ winning Best Comedy/Musical.
  • Post-credits scene teasing Obama joining The Avengers cast after leaving the White House.
  • The promise of an E. coli free Chipotle before he leaves office.
  • At the 36-minute mark, when Obama shouted “REMIX!” and Missy Elliot came out and brought everyone just tuning in up-to-speed.
  • When Biden looked directly into camera and mouthed, “I have a boner!”
  • Trump tailgate party.
  • According to my uncle, the moment when Obama promised to take everyone ‘s guns and melt them down to make solar panels.
  • The Supreme Court ‘s elaborately choreographed celebrations during each applause break.
  • When some senator shouted “Free Bird” and then Obama totally played it.
  • Paul Ryan finally giving in and yelling “All right, you got me, bro,” before high-fiving Obama.
  • There are usually reaction shots of members of the crowding dozing off during the SOTU, but this was the first time they caught two audience members having sex.
  • The snacks!
  • Obama reminding us we ‘re the strongest nation on earth by citing the fact that the World Series takes place in America.
  • Biden ‘s “senior prank” where he went out in the hall and released three fat, oinky pigs, but painted on them 1, 2, and 4 ‘ those politicians are probably still looking for pig 3!
  • Halfway through, Sen. Mitch McConnell was replaced with a puppet, and nobody noticed.
  • Republican rebuttal given by snarling pit bull.
  • The part where I was too far from the remote and watched some Gerard Butler movie on FX instead.

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