By: Pitch

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Best Moments From Last Night’s GOP Debate

Last night was another GOP debate, hosted by Fox Business and the Wall Street Journal. In case you didn ‘t tune it, here are the top moments you missed.

  • Chris Christie coming out in a full Juggernaut costume.
  • When the judges used their one save to bring back Rick Santorum.
  • Ted Cruz and Donald Trump said “I ‘m not gay” in unison, unprompted.
  • Ben Carson getting his foot stuck in a bucket.
  • When I realized the backdrop was a magic eye of the word “Benghazi,”
  • Ben Carson watching the Netflix documentary series Making a Murderer under the podium.
  • Trump promising an eagle in every pot.
  • When it was discovered that Jeb Bush was wearing an ear piece and his father and brother were watching through the window telling him what to say
  • When Chris Christie told America he couldn ‘t guarantee anyone ‘s safety if he wasn ‘t elected and then gestured like, “You know what I am saying?”
  • Each candidate waving their pistols in the air.
  • Bobby Jindal ‘s watch party at Dave & Buster ‘s.
  • While being introduced, Ben Carson pulling up his shirt and pointing out his Minions underpants.
  • Trump making a buzzer sound any time one of the other candidates tried to speak and saying “ding!” after all his answers.
  • Barack Obama streaking across the stage.
  • Cruz getting “iced.”
  • Mike Huckabee acting as a podium filler when the real candidates have to use the bathroom.
  • Trump promised a space program that would not only find life on Mars, but also eliminate it
  • When Ted Cruz ‘s heart grew three sizes, burst through his chest and killed him.
  • Each candidate unveils the three little girls they ‘ve chosen to sing their campaign song.
  • Marco Rubio prefacing all his statements with, “Now I may be a naughty daddy, but ‘”
  • John Kasich revealing himself to be a piece of toast.
  • The new Johnson Model X12 Podiums with custom tungsten carbide injection molding just crushing it.
  • Ted Cruz burning a Canadian flag.
  • A couple frames of pretty solid Chris Christie sideboob.
  • Ben Carson said he and Jesus have a secret handshake, started to do it, but then said, “It doesn ‘t work when only I ‘m here.”
  • The Martian winning Best Comedy/Musical.

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