20 Great Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts

This has happened to all of us: It ‘s Valentine ‘s Day and you totally forgot to get the the love of your life a gift. Well, don ‘t worry, we ‘ve got you covered with this great list of premium-quality last-minute Valentine ‘s Day gifts anyone can whip up 30 minutes before getting dinner wherever you can get in!

• Swallow a metal heart-shaped object and go to the hospital together and get an X-ray.
• An agreement to watch You ‘ve Got Mail but not tonight.
• A Twitter @ mention.
• A small donation to the charity of her choice ‘ is that a PROBLEM?????
• ‘Kandy,” the low-cost candy-free candy alternative.
• A globe. That ‘s your thing, right? You collect globes, I thought.
• One over-the-pants hand job with eye contact.
• Leaf that ‘reminded me of you.”
• Their favorite cereals mixed in a plastic grocery bag.
• Constructive criticism.
• An upgrade to Windows 10.
• A bunch of Walgreens bags stuffed inside a Walgreens bag.
• That mustard from the fridge she likes.
• The Name of God Is Mercy by Pope Francis (e-book torrent).
• This one is kind of Seal-specific, but singing your song ‘Kiss From a Rose.”
• A long gray bone.
• $20 on Venmo with ‘Not tonight” in the memo.
• Saying ‘I thought we agreed not to do gifts this year” more and more feebly as they start to cry.
• Print out a picture of Baby Huey you found online and pretend you got her the rights to Baby Huey.
• Check for $200 that will bounce.