27 Goodest Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week #24

Is that a bottle of Prozac in your pocket or are you just sad to see me?

‘ Megan Amram (@meganamram) March 1, 2016

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“I'm so sad.”
“You should read Garfield.”
“But Doctor, I am Garfield”

‘ “Ian” Abramson (@ianabramson) March 2, 2016

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If you pretend to be dead long enough, people come along and do your hair & makeup for free.

‘ honky tonk angel bb (@dulcetry) May 3, 2015

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I don't always dress in style but when I do it was 2003.

‘ mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 4, 2016

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If I seem tired, it's because I've been trying to figure out how 40% of all weeks are Fashion Weeks.

‘ Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) March 4, 2016

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Computer, give me a picture that is cartoonishly opposite of America. pic.twitter.com/KPzU3mLgnQ

‘ ???? ? (@pw3n) February 24, 2016

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Donald Trump and Chris Christie look like rival strip club owners.

‘ Alex Baze (@bazecraze) February 28, 2016

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Replaced Trump's eyes with his mouth and it looks the same pic.twitter.com/bN3YRgHvdT

‘ Sea (@maybesea) February 26, 2016

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alright. if everything happens for a reason why did i put a scarecrow in the shower

‘ Steve (@WigCannon) February 25, 2016

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Full House both asks and answers the question “what ever happened to predictability?”

‘ caitlin bitzegaio (@caitorade) February 29, 2016