This One Weird Thing Would Stop Ted Cruz From Supporting Donald Trump

Senator Ted Cruz declared that should Trump get the nomination he would support Donald Trump for the presidency UNLESS Trump were to actually shoot and kill someone on 5th Avenue, which is something Trump said he COULD do.

Dang! What an absolutely insane and awful place we are in American politics that not only Donald Trump has actually said that, but that Cruz is honestly responding to it. Do politics get any lower than this? Is the Pope Jewish? ~*~a resounding NO booms through the stadium~*~

Also, lest it be swept aside for the latest breaking racist thing any of these candidates have said, let ‘s ruminate on the fact that Cruz would be cool with literally anything else. Trump could kill a dog. Trump could kill someone on 3rd Avenue. Trump could stand by idly as his supporters violently attack protestors at his rallies. And Ted Cruz would still stand by him. And he has, because that last point is already happening.

Remember to vote this fall, guys! Unless you ‘re a Trump supporter, in which case, remember to vote the following fall!