By: Matt Kirsch
PETITION: Please, Dr. Sam Beckett, Leap Into Donald Trump And Change History
Donald Trump has a legitimate chance at becoming the next President of the United States. That ‘s a scary prospect for me and, I imagine, a large portion of the population. And I ‘m not content to just sit by and let this happen. Are you?
One of the most effective ways that I can think of to prevent this catastrophe would be for brilliant scientist Dr. Sam Beckett to leap into Donald Trump and change the course of history. Doctor, once you took over his consciousness, you could have him give a speech where he drops out of the race, endorses Bernie, walks into oncoming traffic, or really whatever you prefer. You ‘re the expert.
Now I ‘m not an idiot. I realize Dr. Beckett is likely comfortably retired by now and would rather not take on this dangerous mission, which is where we come in. If enough of us show our support for this selfless act, perhaps, just perhaps, we can convince him!
Please, Doctor. If we get enough signatures to sway you toward this cause, and you decided to team back up with Al and Ziggy, to leap into that walking mucus bag Donald Trump, wow, that would be so fucking fantastic. Thank you in advance, on behalf of all humanity, for your time and consideration.
