By: Drunk Funny Or Die
Does everyone have good stories about their most memorable time making sick from drinking too much? I don ‘t know but the only way to find out is if you ask. To start I ‘ll do mine:
The first time I ever barfed from alcohol consumption was when I was a sophomore in college. I had drank a bunch of bubble tea earlier (some background: My friends and I drank a lot of bubble tea in college, like several times a week??? Sometimes I skipped class to drink bubble tea) and then went to a gala thing for my internship where I got a lot of free screwdrivers, which I drank quickly like they were orange juice, and then when I got home I hurled a lot but my roommate Johanna who was babysitting my hurls told me that my barf had a lot of tiny boba balls in it and that it was cute, which basically taught me that there are no consequences to drinking to excess, because my boba barf is way cute.
During my freshman (let ‘s ignore that gender implications of that word, now is not the time) year of college, I was home on break and I went out drinking with friends. I think it was New Year ‘s. Anyway, it was a good time. I drank. Now, let me take a step back here ‘ when i drink I don ‘t throw up while i ‘m drunk. My body decides to wait til the next morning when i ‘m sober enough to really enjoy vomiting. To really feel it, you know. So i wake up around 7 and go to the bathroom and do my biz (vom) and i feel completely terrible. Sober puking from drinking is the absolute worst so I was at my lowest, and i stumble out of the bathroom and my dad ‘s just waiting for me. And he ‘s so disappointed in me that he can ‘t figure out what to say. He just looks at me and goes ‘don ‘t be ‘don ‘t be ‘ a bad kid. ‘ I ‘ll never forget it, because i realized then that he had this perfect image of me, where he didn ‘t think i drank or anything. I felt like i really let him down but at the same time, felt good about my ability to hide my drinking in high school.
The year is 2011 and it is August. It ‘s my first week back at school of my senior year of college. Also, it is Hurricane Irene. So classes hadn ‘t started yet because it was like the Monday of Labor Day weekend, you know? Anyways my friends and I had a hurricane party where we all drank Dark and Stormy ‘s which are so tasty and for this theme were APT.
I wore a trash bag instead of a raincoat bc i hadn ‘t unpacked that yet!!!
anyways it was a memorable evening with some of my closest and more wonderful friends: julia ryan, addie ansell, julia fahl, sophie ballis-harris, roisin foley, isabel donlon, and more! then julia ryan and i walked home because we lived in a vegan co-op off campus but we were so drunk i slipped down a huge hill that turned into a mud slide because of the GIANT HURRICANE outside. it ruined my phone. but i was with everyone i loved so it was okay!
when we got back to our vegan co-op i barfed! but then i fell asleep in my bed, covered in mud but with my door open which was across the hall from julia ryan ‘s room and we just chatted until we fell asleep. BUT THEN in the middle of the night a security officer from our college walked in in a FULL HAZMAT suit and a mask and was like shining a light in our face and liek LADIES, IT IS NOT SAFE TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOUR DOORS OPEN ANYONE COULD COME IN AND IT WAS LIKE UH BRUH, LIKE YOU, YOURE A CREEP! BUT THEN HE LEFT TO GO TEND TO MORE HURRICANE DUTIES!
i emailed some of my friends to send me a photo of me in that hurricane trashbag outfit it was cute.
2 weeks after moving to New York City I was living in Queens and me and my roommate went to a biergarten in astoria. At the time, they had a grill where if you bought a sausage you could get as much saurkraut as you want. I didn ‘t have much money so I bought the cheapest sausage and loaded up on the saurkraut ‘many times over ‘as I drank from everyone else ‘s beer pitcher. I got very drunk and, as we walked home to our apartment, I had to stop at about five or six tree stands on the street and barf straight into them. My friend Jeremy was very patient with me, but I barfed so much saurkraut into these things it was disgusting. Made me sick.
The first time I ever barfed from drinking was when I was 18 and barfed out the back of my buddy Lucio ‘s mom ‘s Volkswagen Cabrio (convertible). That was also the first night I smoked weed but I did that later. It didn ‘t get me high. Well, maybe it did, but I was so drunk who gives a shit.
The only time I ‘ve ever thrown up from drinking that WASN ‘T the next morning was shortly after college when my buddy Dan Ramos and I were hanging out in my parents ‘ basement binge-watching episodes of Family Guy on DVD. If I recall correctly somewhere around beer 15 I quietly snuck off to the bathroom and ralphed for 5 or 10 minutes then came back and kept drinking. I believe the final count was somewhere around 15 episodes and 22 beers.
i once was taking shots at the bar with friends. i had too much liquid in my stomach but i really wanted the shot. immediately after choking it down i felt it coming back up but the bar was too crowded so i tried to do a low key barf and i just kind of let it fall out of my mouth. i tried to catch it with the shot glass, because i thought i was only puking up the shot and it ‘d fit in the glass (drunk logic), but it was in fact a high volume barf and it spilled out of the shot glass, all over the bar, down my hands and went up my sleeves. everyone saw. then i left