Drunk Day 2016 Article #11: In This World You Are Either A Ryan Or A Seth And I Am A Ryan

The world can be divided into two groups of people Seth ‘s or Ryan ‘s. If for some reason you aren ‘t immediately familiar with those references, well first of all, welcome to 2016, bitch. Second of all this is Seth:

Seth is a geek. He likes music, which in TV world makes you a geek. He is sort of insecure and likes video games. He is sensitive but so is ‘..

Ryan Atwood! Ryan Atwood is tough until you realize it ‘s all a FACADE! He is from the wrong side of the tracks, unlike Seth who is from THE RIGHT side of the tracks.
So you ‘re thinking, how do these two know each other? Well it ‘s funny you ask because not only do they know each other they are best friends and in fact so close almost brothers?

They look out for one another. Ryan brings Seth out of his shell and Seth encourages Ryan to be goofy and a bit more in touch with his emotions. Together they go to parties and fall in love with girls and learn about being a teenager.
Ok, so they love one another but the catch is is that the world is either a Ryan or a Seth. Like they either identify with Ryan or with Seth. Or they are attracted to either Ryan or Seth. I truly think the world boils down to these two people. But I also think that you are either someone who thinks Jeff Goldblum is a #hunk or is really creepy looking. I for the record think he is gross and also that Ryan is so hot. My guess would be that most people would be consistent with that. LIke if you think Jeff Goldblum is hot you probably also think Seth is hot.

Okay, I don ‘t think Seth ISN ‘T hot, but to me personally, attitude has a lot to do with how hot I think someone is. I think if someone complains and has a whiny attitude they are automatically LESS HOT. And Seth is very whiny!

But I get why people do like him. He is loving and fun and like totally devoted to the one he loves. He named his boat after a girl he liked. Ryan isn ‘t like that which is why I love him. Ryan does not own a boat. He doesn ‘t own anything because he DOESN ‘T STAY IN ONE PLACE VERY LONG. He is moody and has trouble communicating but he will open up to the one he truly loves which in my mind is me.
Also he can ‘t be real with anyone except the one he loves, which again is me. ALSO Ryan only speaks with his eyes. Like everyone emotion is with his eyes. Look!

He ‘s like ‘uhmm okay, sure I guess, did you know my dad abandoned me, uhh Idk what I want to order, uhm i am fragile, but i am physically strong, i might have a big dick, i have a hard time expressing myself, i am so sexy. ‘

Here he is like ‘ok keep talking weirdo, all of your problems are so simple compared to mine, I don ‘t know my dad and my brother Trent (Trey?) is very complicated, also I am so sexy and you look like you are actually in high school, but not me, maybe I was held back a lot because of my tough childhood? i wonder if there is a girl out there who can save me. ‘

Okay, well that ‘s sort of it. I hope some of you choose Seth because he deserves it. I think my friend Alise likes Seth ‘s.
We ‘re all going to find the respective Seth, Ryan, Summer, or Marissa we deserve.