Funny Death Choose Has Never Executed Anyone. But We Are In Charge Now.

America accuses Glorious North Korea, of misleading our people. Ha! They only wield such accusations to distance suspicion that they mislead their people. And oh my Kim, do they mislead their people.

This very website, with facetious title Funny Death Choose, claims to mimic beloved American Democracy. But that is something to spit over! Americans vote on if article is Funny or if the author should be put to death.

Yet, in testament to corruption inherent in all democracies, this website has never murdered even one writer.

And they even fail to cover up their own deception! The writers who were to die are all alive. Our researchers found them within seconds.

Ben Weitmarschen

Called to be put to death over this article:

Yet here he is alive and well.

Nate Dern

Called to be put to death over this article:

But here he is. Smiling.

Clara Morris

Called to be put to death over this article:

She is not dead. See?

But North Korea controls Funny Death Choose now. We will make the name Funny Death Choose have meaning! For we are effective, powerful, and the greatest comedians/humans on the planet!

We captured the writers whose deaths you clamored for. It was easy. We offered fatty circle-pastries free of cost and they produced themselves within minutes.

And we have followed through. With help from our intern, Graham, these writers are no more.

All hail Kim Jong-un!