Things to Look Forward to this Baseball Season
- Hot dogs at Yankee Stadium for the bargain price of $13.99!
- Months of excitement followed by an inevitable late-season letdown.
- Forgetting that baseball even exists during the month of June, remembering again for July and August, forgetting when Football starts, remembering again when playoffs begin.
- Gambling your lifesavings away based on a ‘solid hunch. ‘
- Donald Trump deporting half of the Cubs.
- Realizing you ‘ll never, ever, ever be able to afford Box Seats.
- Forgetting to take your hat off during the singing of the National Anthem and getting the stink eye.
- Seriously contemplating suicide after spending 3 hours on StubHub trying to find the perfect seats.
- Drinking four beers during the first inning and getting the spins during the bottom of the third.
- Getting super psyched when a batter hits a ‘home run ‘ that turns out to be a pop fly.
- Making it through a stadium parking lot and feeling like you survived the Red Wedding on ‘Game of Thrones. ‘
- Stadium minimum three-hour long lines to pee.
- Wondering what the hell you ‘re doing with your life after spending 4 hours in front of your TV on a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching your team lose.
- Singing ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game ‘ for the 1,000th time like you fucking mean it.