By: Alex Pearson
21 Guesses About Who Merrick Garland Is Based On His Name

Who is Merrick Garland? The name sounds familiar, but I can ‘t remember.
Here are my best guesses:
- 1. Merrick Garland is the owner of a Wonder Emporium
- 2. Merrick Garland is a man wearing a fancy hat and monocle on a safari
- 3. Merrick Garland is a reclusive toymaker
- 4. Merrick Garland is the real name of rapper 2 Chainz

- 5. Merrick Garland is currently seven shots back at the Masters
- 6. Merrick Garland is an ill-conceived Christmas-themed Batman villain
- 7. Merrick Garland is a hapless craftsman unknowingly aided by nocturnal elves

- 8. Merrick Garland is Benedict Cumberbatch ‘s “Sasha Fierce ‘
- 9. Merrick Garland is a Donald Trump campaign staffer who was captured on video repeatedly beating journalists with one of those giant American Gladiators q-tips
- 10. Merrick Garland is the Elephant Man
- 11. Merrick Garland is Banksy

- 12. Merrick Garland is Cap ‘n Crunch
- 13. Merrick Garland funded the construction of Jurassic Park
- 14. Merrick Garland is that woman from Watchmen and some other stuff
- 15. Merrick Garland is the warmest and most comfortable type of sweater
- 16. Merrick Garland is a 24-year-old European DJ we ‘re paying 80 bucks to see play his iPod tonight at Hakkasan

- 17. Merrick Garland is a hobbit who started with the Fellowship but then chased a butterfly all the way back to the Shire
- 18. Merrick Garland is a notable figure in many medical texts for having survived a harpoon lodged directly through his ears
- 19. Merrick Garland has been a back-up NFL quarterback for 23 years
- 20. Merrick Garland is the best magician we could afford, but it says here that he trained under Copperfield
- 21. Merrick Garland, better known as the Route 17 Killer, killed at least 15 prostitutes in the late seventies
