By: Jason Flowers
27 Goodest Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week #30

This week ‘s tweets are expected to make a deep playoff run.
When the Utah Jazz play it's more about the shots they aren't making
‘ Steven W Skinner (@SkinnerSteven) April 15, 2016
America's slow but very real decline into a fascist state as told by the Milwaukee Bucks logo pic.twitter.com/UTVsEyq3kg
‘ Alexander Cesario Siquig (@ThomasAwful) April 9, 2016
the guy who invented tennis balls is probably like “no no no no” when he sees a crippled person with a walker
‘ everett byram (@rad_milk) April 13, 2016
I love playing catch with my dad. he’s fucking heavy though
‘ josh (@ruinedpicnic) April 8, 2016
I can still fit into the insecurity I wore in high school.
‘ elizabeth williams (@Elizasoul80) April 13, 2016
Someone pointed out that “oh my god, becky, look at her butt” passes the bechdel test and I haven't stopped laughing for a week
‘ Krinkle (@Krinkle8) February 9, 2015
Most kids have a stuffed animal or blankie. My niece has one of those plastic owls u put outside to scare away birds pic.twitter.com/U3CX3Gcb0V
‘ pat tobin (@tastefactory) April 10, 2016
I think a cool idea for a TV show would be surgeon who is good at managing his relationships and personal life but is terrible at his job.
‘ Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) April 14, 2016
a big pet peeve i have is when literally anything happens
‘ the hippo account (@InternetHippo) April 11, 2016
The new first base is when you decide you hate most of the same people.
‘ Kashana (@kashanacauley) April 12, 2016
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having a blast! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
‘ Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) April 10, 2016
I'm still mad that this didn't win the New Yorker caption contest five years ago. pic.twitter.com/iSTpQXikWy
‘ Nate Fernald (@natefernald) April 11, 2016
Ciabatta be bad, ciabatta be bold, ciabatta be wiser
Ciabatta be hard, ciabatta be tough, ciabatta be stronger‘ Daniel Spenser (@DanSpenser) April 12, 2016
you know rhe trick where you order pizza and yell when it arrives so they think you're sharing with friends? yeah it doesn't work at chili's
‘ demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) April 13, 2016
You think banana peels on the floor are funny but I worked in a banana peel factory for 14 yrs and 88% of my friends are paralyzed.
‘ Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) April 13, 2016
Tjhis guy fucking sucks pic.twitter.com/ZL67sQF6zm
‘ wint (@dril) April 8, 2016
Guys Jared leto's joker is SO raw I heard he watched 2 family guy episodes before each take. And not just the old stuff. NEW episodes
‘ Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) April 14, 2016
I bet when Anne Hathaway's baby boy started crying, doctors called him desperate and overrated.
‘ Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) April 8, 2016
Yeah, OK pic.twitter.com/gW91TMoIkB
‘ Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis ‘ Wilson (@MaraWilson) April 12, 2016
Someone stole my new glasses out of the mail. I would be angry if I weren't so inspired by how far people will go to get my look
‘ Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) April 12, 2016
It's super easy to get quoted in The New York Times. pic.twitter.com/pcyodXQGSw
‘ Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) April 10, 2016
if u hear ur roommate using ur beard trimmer in the bathroom but they come out and look exactly the same u should buy a new beard trimmer
‘ chuuch (@ch000ch) April 8, 2016
Heads up, your network name is also a way to rate things. pic.twitter.com/SQpm49GC4P
‘ Ally Hord (@hordie) April 2, 2016
what about watching eight dog riding skateboard videos in a row makes youtube ads think i'm in any position in life to buy a fucking lexus
‘ rob whisman (@robwhisman) April 10, 2016
ME: My dog's so happy I'm working from home.
DOG (to camera): Honestly, a heads up would have been nice. I had shit planned today.‘ Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 30, 2016
“My dog is a *rescue*, but really, *I'm* the one who is a *dog*.”
‘ Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) April 12, 2016
If foot size is any indication, Goofy has a big ol dick.
‘ Betsy Sodaro (@BirdySoderdy) April 12, 2016
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