Dad Uses Twitter To Show What A Nightmare Having Four Daughters Can Be

If you aren ‘t already a #dad, then surely you ‘ve wondered your whole entire life just what it would be like to be one. Dads are the coolest, second only to #moms and unlikely animal friendships.

ANYWAYS, one dad, who happens to be a very funny dad named James Breakwell, has been honored with the task of raising four daughters and is documenting it on his hilarious twitter account.

5-year-old: I drew a llamaman.

Me: What's that?

5: *rolls her eyes* A man who's a llama, Dad.

I have so much to learn about everything.

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016

Me: Why are you crying?

3-year-old: Penguins can ‘t talk.

Now we ‘re both crying.

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 30, 2016

There were some who said I couldn't be cool AND be a dad.

They were right. pic.twitter.com/BrjvtXQBcD

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 23, 2015

Toddler: *spills an entire bowl of popcorn and then eats it off the floor*

5-year-old: Stop it!

Me: Let her go. I don't want to vacuum.

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 17, 2016

5-year-old: I don't want to go to school.

Me: Come on. It'll be fun.

[hours later]

5-year-old: What else did you lie about?

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 26, 2016

I took the day off work to hang out with my 5-year-old.

She just told me “I need some alone time” and turned on Netflix

I'm raising myself

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 7, 2016

Me: Why are you being so loud?

5-year-old: We're doing a fashion show

Me: So why are you yelling?

5: We're also witches so we kill people

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 2, 2016

I was so proud of my kids for not touching the Tupperware container full of cupcakes.

Then I opened it. pic.twitter.com/zQS4VaH637

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 2, 2015

3-year-old daughter: A boy at daycare said he likes me.

Me: Do you like him back?

3: He colors outside the lines. He needs to grow up.

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 15, 2016

Me: You can't like Kylo Ren. He killed his dad.

5-year-old: Maybe he deserved it.

I'm never sleeping again.

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2016

Yes, I pulled off the pudding heist.

I would have gotten away with it, too, if I didn’t get stuck in the damn chair pic.twitter.com/OhGCMA3dSM

‘ Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 6, 2016

Me: WHO BROKE THE END TABLE?!

5-year-old:

Me:

5-year-old: I'm pretty sure it was always like that. pic.twitter.com/ZTHr4YXFMI

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 16, 2016

[reading “Hansel and Gretel”]

Me: Would you want to live in a gingerbread house?

5-year-old: Does it have Wi-Fi?

‘ James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 9, 2016

h/t someecards

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