Greetings, sleuths. My name is Fitzwilliam S. Fudrucker and I ‘m a Facebook detective. I scour the ‘book for hints and clues to solve the mysteries raised by the vague, unspecific posts of your friends, family, and barely tolerated acquaintances.
Today you ‘ve been enlisted by ME and my colleagues Scotland ‘Internet ‘ Yard to solve some of the top head-scratchers of Zuckerberg ‘s domain. Care to take a crack and see if you ‘re a Sherlock ‘Internet ‘ Holmes or a Susan ‘Internet ‘ Grafton? I ‘ll be puffing my pipe and sipping on hot yummy tea while you sort through this jolly mess. Good luck, and be careful!
Someone you met at a networking event posted a picture from a pristine beach. Do you take this to mean:
Joan and Andy, a couple you know from high school who went ‘all the way ‘ (got married) just posted a picture ‘In May…we ‘re going to be three. ‘ Is the third party they are referring to:
A friend from an improv class just posted the words ‘I got the part! ‘ What is the part?
Ah–a classic mystery. A friend posted a selfie from Kings County hospital with the caption, ‘Better now but still not out of the woods. ‘ Here are your clues:
This friend posted a picture of themselves finishing a half-marathon the weekend prior
This friend has a minor shellfish allergy
The name of this friend ‘s childhood rabbit was Casserole
Why is your friend in the hospital?
Three different friends have posted ‘Congrats! ‘ on your burnout cousin Tevin ‘s wall. The friends are from totally different arenas of Tevin ‘s life:
Every year, the U.S. Patents Office copyrights 57 new sex acts. Who gets those patents is decided by Mr. Stevens and Mrs. Davis – collectively known as The Committee. In each episode, a different hopeful pitches to the Department of Amatory Copyright in the hope that their imaginative new sex act will become this years’ Rusty Trombone.
A young billionaire with a reputation for sexual deviancy based on rumor and hearsay approaches Greg and Amelia for an erotic tryst, believing that they, thanks to Greg’s erotic fiction blog, are kink dynamos. What follows is a classic game of “I thought you were the one who knew how to use this sex toy.” Cast: Amelia- Adelind Horan Greg- Branson Reese Francis Caspar – Luke Slattery Takeru – Greg Keller Actor – Benjamin Cole Crew: Director of Photography – Ratchetstrap Homonculus Camera Assistant – Kariim Charlier Production Designer – Kristina Porter Sound Recordist – Victor Tyler
Two guys head to a party. Though on the surface they seem calm and ready, they are secretly riddled with anxiety. Watch what their social anxiety does to their conversation skills throughout the night.
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